Cryptonews

Interoperability, that elusive dream of blockchain enthusiasts, is finally taking shape before our very eyes. Assets now flow across chains as smoothly as vodka flows at a Russian wedding—without the headaches typically associated with bridging or swapping into native tokens. Enso, ever the cunning architect, has bundled these labyrinthine operations into a singular interaction. What joy this brings to users! Time saved, fees slashed, and developers spared the torment of wrestling with multiple smart contracts across chains. For what mortal soul could endure such drudgery without risking madness—or worse, a typo? 😅

The SEC’s RSVP list for crypto ETFs? Still waiting. The latest in their prolonged “almost approved” saga is Trump’s shiny new Bitcoin ETF, originally slated for a quick “yay” or “nay” but now pushed back to September 18th. Because who doesn’t love a good cliffhanger? 📅

On Tuesday, July 28, the SEC announced it had finalized orders allowing authorized participants to create and redeem shares of crypto exchange-traded products (ETPs) using the underlying digital assets—Bitcoin or Ethereum—instead of cash. Because, you know, cash is so last century. 💸

In a delightful twist that could only be penned by fate, China’s mining behemoth, Bitmain, is intent on expanding its operations like a scholar on a quest for knowledge—this time with a manufacturing doozy in the good ol’ U.S. of A. Meanwhile, our friends in Vietnam are twinkling their toes into crypto regulations thanks to a promising tête-à-tête with Upbit, while the FBI is playing the role of digital Robin Hood by taking down some rather nefarious ransomware villains. Not to mention, Japan has taken a leap of faith into the digital future with those fancy NFT vending machines, marking milestones in blockchain adoption that would make even the most stoic of accountants crack a smile.

This proclamation, etched into the digital tablets of platform X, follows the murmurs that Coinbase, the American leviathan, sought to swallow CoinDCX for a mere $900 million—a pittance compared to its 2021 glory valuation of $2.2 billion. Ah, the fickleness of fortune! 📉

In the cold, unyielding embrace of the digital frontier, like a cowboy rounding up cattle in a vast and unpredictable range, Anchorage Digital—a formidable player in the landscape of U.S. digital asset banking—has rustled up a hefty haul of 10,141 Bitcoin, lighting up the financial landscape at the daunting price tag of $1.19 billion. It … Read more

Picture this: in a move straight out of a fever dream, CEA announced a PIPE financing round so oversubscribed it might as well have been a royal banquet, backed by the likes of 10X Capital and YZi Labs. Their grand scheme? To morph into a BNB-focused treasury behemoth, aiming to crown itself the largest publicly traded one in the United States. As if the world needed another vessel to funnel money into Binance’s Layer 1 asset. The subscribers? A motley crew of over 140, including crypto heavyweights like Pantera Capital, GSR, and Blockchain.com—each probably thinking they’re the next genius or just riding the wave before it crashes. 💸😏

In a particularly cheeky post over on X (no, not the letter—keep up!), the ever-observant wizards at Glassnode have spun a yarn about the recent escapades of four grand altcoin champions: Ethereum (ETH), Dogecoin (DOGE), XRP (XRP), and Solana (SOL). Can you hear the fanfare? 🎺

Kiyosaki’s latest tirade on that birdcage liner we call social media—X, was it?—paints America as the grand champion of debt, outdoing even the pharaohs in their pyramid schemes. He’s drawing musty parallels to that dusty old crash of ’29, claiming we’re printing money faster than a riverboat gambler deals cards, and sooner or later, the house always wins—or crashes, as it were. If you ask me, it’s like watching a mule kick at a beehive; something’s bound to sting. 😂

Bitcoin dances like a nervous cat on a hot tin roof, while the Bollinger Bands whisper sweet nothings about an imminent range expansion.