Larry David-Style: India Skeptical of Crypto as RBI Rolls Out Digital Cash

India will soon launch an RBI-backed digital currency, India’s Commerce Minister Piyush Goyal said in a roundtable during his visit to Qatar, The Hindu reported on Tuesday. Great, a currency with a government-approved stamp of “trust us.” It’s like someone saying, “Don’t worry, I’ve got the contract!” while handing you a napkin with a signature on it. 🤔

BlackRock’s $100 Billion Bitcoin ETF: Close, But Not Quite There Yet!

In case you’ve been living under a rock (or perhaps in an ETF-less abyss), IBIT is now the top dog in BlackRock’s ETF kennel. And, yes, it’s set to leave traditional ETFs like IWF and EFA eating its dust. How? By pulling off this magic trick in less than two years while other big players have been sitting on their laurels for a decade. Quite impressive, don’t you think?

Ondo’s Big Move: Acquisition Sparks Breakout Hopes… But Will It Last?

Okay, so let’s break it down. Ondo’s got its hands on Oasis Pro, and it’s not just any purchase. We’re talking about licenses for a broker-dealer, an Alternative Trading System (ATS), and a Transfer Agent (TA) – all blessed by the mighty US Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC). Sounds like a big deal, right? But here’s the real question: Does ONDO have the juice to break out, or is it just another crypto Cinderella story waiting for the clock to strike midnight?

EU’s Crypto Power Grab: Centralized Oversight or Bureaucratic Monster? 🧙‍♂️💼

Crypto Market Chart

On a crisp Monday, Verena Ross, the esteemed chair of the European Securities and Markets Authority (ESMA), proclaimed with the gravitas of a Shakespearean protagonist that the regulation of stock exchanges, crypto companies, and clearing houses shall henceforth be the domain of the bloc’s vigilant watchdog. “A capital market in Europe that is more integrated and globally competitive,” she declared, her words dripping with the honey of ambition. 🍯🦅

Opendoor & Bitcoin?! 🤯

And get this, their stock’s been on a right rollercoaster, going up over 480% this year! The market, bless its silly heart, seems to think letting people use funny money to buy bricks and mortar is a brilliant idea. Imagine the chaos! 🤪

Crypto Cash Caper: $5.95B Flows In! 🐍💸

In its latest weekly report on digital asset fund flows, CoinShares has shared the latest data related to cryptocurrency investment fund netflows for the past week. The investment funds here include not just the US spot exchange-traded funds (ETFs), but also other vehicles like CoinShares’ own XBT Provider, an exchange-traded product (ETP). 🧠