And hold onto your hats, because volume? That jumped 430% to $106 million. It’s like everyone suddenly remembered they have crypto wallets and forgot how to resist the urge to buy. The market cap? Also, just casually, crossed the half-billion mark. No big deal.
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Day argued that no crypto legislation is needed. For 16 years, the crypto community has tilled its own fields, unshackled by the heavy hand of Congress. The real fight, he said, is not crypto versus banks. It is large exchanges like Coinbase, those gilded colossi, lobbying for rules that strangle the little guy.
News of this rather high-handed decree was disseminated, naturally, via that modern oracle, X (formerly known as Twitter – how terribly common!). A Mr. MartyParty, a name that suggests a devotion to frivolity, informs us that exchanges are to immediately cease and desist from any interaction with these ‘problematic’ coins. One can only imagine the polite, yet firm, tone of the directive.
This brings a sort of closure, you might say, to one of those cases that seemed destined to linger on longer than a particularly stubborn hangover in the wake of the great crypto yield product implosion of 2022. One wonders if anyone involved still remembers what ‘yield’ actually meant.
One might have presumed that Bitcoin, remaining stubbornly below a price that would elicit true delight, would remain undisturbed. However, certain legacy wallets, yearning for a bit of activity, have begun the most curious of re-positionings. Mr. Sani, a gentleman well-versed in the study of the Blockchain, noted on Thursday the emergence of addresses of a most venerable age, all engaged in the rather organized effort of consolidation.
Xaif Crypto posted from the street corner last Thursday, marking a crossroads where XRP stands after months of rain and downturn. The accompanying chart shows the price sliding down from a late-2024 peak and slipping back into a blue box-the kind of blue that makes a man believe in a floor, if not in a roof. The blue box is where the old trades gathered, and where a stubborn base might shelter the price if it ever returns to that level.
But hark! ARB, poor soul, hath fallen below its key support levels, leaving investors in a quandary most dire: shall it rebound like a sprightly courtier, or continue its descent into the abyss of further downside? The drama thickens, dear reader, as we ponder this financial farce.
In a plot twist worthy of a mediocre thriller novel, crypto investigator ZachXBT uncovered a network of wallets tied to what they allege are the spoils of U.S. government theft. This discovery followed some rather unfortunate leaked recordings where our thief, let’s call him “John,” boasted about his wallet balances during a heated argument with another hacker. Nothing says “I’m innocent” like waving around a virtual wallet filled with ill-gotten gains, right?
The signs, my curious soul, are as contradictory as a Gogol protagonist’s thoughts. A bearish momentum reset, whale accumulation more aggressive than a nosy landlady, and a sudden surge in network usage-all converge like characters in a chaotic Russian novel. The question lingers: is Ethereum poised for a grand rebound, or is this but a fleeting jest of the market gods?
