Cryptonews

A Tragi-Comedy of Technicals

B. Riley shares had premarket traders giddy on Dec. 16, 2025, thanks to that timely filing. If only they’d been this punctual when I asked them to return my Christmas cards. 🎀

In a livestream titled “Some End of Year Thoughts,” our protagonist, ensconced in the rugged splendor of Colorado, delivered a soliloquy worthy of a tragic hero. 🏔️🎭 The market, he laments, has lost its retail engine-a mechanical failure, not of emotion, but of structure. Institutional capital, that fickle siren, has ensnared itself in Bitcoin’s siren song, leaving altcoins to wither like forgotten wallflowers. 🤑💃 “A donkey of a year,” he declares, with a flourish of disdain, “an old donkey with a gas problem.” 🐴💨

Apparently, Solana’s the cool kid on the block now, with its low fees, lightning speed, and scalability that makes other blockchains look like they’re running on dial-up. 📡💨 StraitsX is all like, “We’re here for the payments, trading, and DeFi shenanigans,” and Solana’s like, “Say no more, fam.” 🤝

Behold, the industry’s stalwarts, those weary knights of the financial realm, have raised their voices in a cacophony of alarm. The traditional banks, their parchment-clad minds writhing with unease, whisper that these approvals stretch the very fabric of the national trust bank charter, a relic of bygone eras. 🧑‍🤝‍🧑

On December 15th, the man with a plan scooped up 10.6K BTC, a cool $980 million. Last week? Another $962 million. That’s $2 billion in Bitcoin in just two weeks, pushing Strategy’s crypto hoard past the $50 billion mark. 🤑 But why the rush? With the MSCI index exclusion looming like a storm cloud and mNAV slipping like a banana peel, one might ask: Is Saylor a visionary or a gambler on a bender? 🤔

Now, if we squint at the weekly chart of the S&P 500, the big cheese of US companies, it appears as though the Index is wobbling precariously on the edge of a cliff! 🧗‍♂️ After a merry little jaunt up the ascending channel for years, it seems the next grand move is a delightful plunge down to the bottom. The Stochastic RSI and RSI indicators are hinting at this spectacle as they tumble back down like a couple of clumsy clowns!

With a flourish worthy of the finest Russian ballet, Gemini unveiled its enchanting creation, Gemini Predictions, across all fifty states of this vast land we call home. The announcement, delivered with a twinkling wink on X, resonated like a symphony of opportunities on Monday.

The Unvarnished Truth

Ah, mesdames et messieurs! Voici un spectacle digne des plus grandes farces de Molière : PancakeSwap, ce traître au sucre, s’associe à YZI Labs pour nous offrir Probable, un protocole de marché prédictionnel en ligne, tel un comble de sophistication. 🥞🎭 Ces marchés, qui traitent de sports, de politique, de crypto et d’événements macro, permettront … Read more