On the daily chart, Bitcoin’s price action is trapped in a descending channel that’s been its home since late 2025. It’s like a never-ending tea party with the 100-day MA (~$77k) and 200-day MA (~$90k) as the uninvited guests, looming above the current price. The $75k-$80k zone, once a stalwart support, has now turned into a bouncer at an exclusive club, rejecting every recovery attempt in March with the charm of a depressed robot.
According to the Wall Street Journal, old Trumpy’s been having a chinwag with his advisors about ending this U.S.-Iran business in the next four to six weeks. Dash it all, one can only hope he’s not relying on his golf swing to seal the deal.
In the heart of Brussels, where the cobblestones whisper tales of bureaucracy and waffles, Keyrock, the digital asset investment firm, hath raised a sum so vast it could make a Russian novelist weep with existential dread. $1.1 billion, a number as absurd as it is impressive, poured into its coffers by SC Ventures, the investment arm of Standard Chartered, and Ripple, the crypto darling with a penchant for controversy. The funds, they say, shall be squandered-er, invested-in expanding their services, pursuing acquisitions, and fortifying their financial bulwarks.
Google’s Quantum AI team has released research that’s causing concern in the cryptocurrency world. Their findings detail a much faster way to potentially crack the security that safeguards Bitcoin.
According to Mow, Elon Musk just made Bitcoin “sexy” again. How? By tweeting out the infamous “Bitcoin anime girl” image from 2018, which is apparently the Mona Lisa of crypto memes. Oh, and this time, Musk didn’t just post a static image; he animated it using the “Grok Imagine AI bot”-his pet project over at xAI, the tech company he runs when he’s not buying rockets or sending cars to space. As you can imagine, the internet went wild. I mean, who doesn’t love anime and an eccentric billionaire doing anime things with Bitcoin? The tweet was a subtle declaration of Musk’s undying affection for digital currency-though, if we’re being honest, he probably only tweeted it because he got bored of whatever rocket launch he was watching.
Trading of options for the Hashdex Nasdaq CME Crypto Index ETF (NCIQ) began on Nasdaq this Monday. This gives investors a new way to protect their investments, earn income, and manage risk with a crypto product that isn’t limited to just Bitcoin or Ethereum; it offers exposure to a wider range of cryptocurrencies.
The half‑kiss, half‑nudge of these listings should do the trick of pumping liquidity and widening access. The market will go from a quiet, polite tea party to a bustling boys‑and‑girls club in no time.
That peso, bless its heart, has been on a slide since March, shedding over 5% of its dignity. Bloomberg, ever the gossip, reported that the Bangko Sentral ng Pilipinas (BSP) is sitting on the sidelines, claiming its intervention is “limited to tempering large swings that could affect inflation rather than defending any specific level.” In other words, they’re handing out band-aids at a knife fight.
1inch Business announced the expansion of its Model Context Protocol (MCP) on March 30, 2026, to enable autonomous artificial intelligence (AI) agents to access decentralized finance infrastructure directly. The integration allows developers to build goal-oriented workflows where agents plan and execute swaps across the 1inch network using the Swap Application Programming Interface (API).
The cryptocurrency, currently ranked fifth by market size, fell over 2% in value today, while the overall market saw a slight increase of 0.51%. It was trading at $1.32 at the time this was written.
