According to Chainalysis, a company that apparently makes a living by analyzing the goings-on in the crypto world, digital assets theft this year had been “more devastating” than the entirety of 2024, with over $2.7 billion worth of funds stolen from crypto services so far. I whistled softly to myself as I read the numbers – it seemed that the crypto thieves were having a banner year.
But, alas, dear borrower, be warned: the firm’s benevolence only stretches so far. You’ll need to cough up repayments in cash or crypto, with no early exit penalties to speak of 🚫. And, to mitigate the capricious whims of bitcoin’s volatility, the loan is capped at a 60% loan-to-value (LVR) ratio 📊. Should the price of bitcoin plummet, fear not, dear borrower, for you’ll receive a 30-day notice to adjust the LVR by fiat repayment, additional collateral, or a Bitcoin top-up 💸. And, in the worst-case scenario, only a partial sale of your beloved BTC will occur, leaving your home safe and sound 🏠.
In a spirited tête-à-tête on the illustrious CNBC Television, our dear investor waxed poetic about this gilded future as artificial intelligence prances about, wearing its fanciest attire. Is it not amusing? Just when we thought we had grasped the usage of AI, it decides to explode with flourish, much like a poorly made firework on New Year’s.
The United States has seen a chaotic ‘Crypto Week’, but the House passed the GENIUS and CLARITY Acts on Thursday, giving markets a boost. Meanwhile, Bitcoin cooled from its Monday all-time high while Ethereum finally lifted off after a year in the doldrums.
Since the 14th of July, ETH has rallied by 16%, trading just above $3.5k at the time of writing. The move was driven by strong spot ETF inflows and increased on-chain activity. It’s as if the digital world has decided to throw a grand party, and Ethereum is the guest of honor, dancing to the beat of its own drum.
Our artistic detective, NARDO (a.k.a. @PepenardoStudio), was swift to unveil a most fascinating correlation: Ani’s gothic-lolita getup—corseted, fishnetted, and replete with dual ponytails—evokes the spirit of none other than the illustrious “Bitcoin Girl” from the infamous 2017 Counterparty trading card CCGBTCONE. “Am I the only one seeing this connection?” he proclaimed on X, nudging Musk like a cheeky muse for good measure. 🎨
Proudly waving the banner of our dear President Donald Trump, the World Liberty Financial has bestowed the green light for the trading of its blessed creation, the WLFI token. Unanimous approval, they say, with over 99% in favor—quite the spectacle! One can almost envision the applause echoing off the walls of their plush offices. 🧐
Эфириум [ETH] вырос на 44% с минимумов в начале июля, на $2,373. Он торговался на уровне $3,426 на момент написания статьи, и увеличение институционального спроса и потока инвестиций в ETF могут продолжить этот рост.
This bold little creature, the cat in a dogs world [MEW], basked in the sun, rallying 22% and breaking free from a gloomy multi-month downtrend! Just picture it, reaching for the stars at a dazzling $0.00406 before deciding, “Nah, let’s keep it casual,” and settling back at $0.0039. 🎉
On July 17, the House of Representatives pulled off a major coup by passing three cryptocurrency bills. Imagine that! A room full of politicians, who probably thought “blockchain” was a new thriller movie, finally realized they should probably sort this whole regulatory thing out. It’s good to know that they’re finally getting with the times—or at least trying! 😅