Cryptonews

On Monday, the Justice Department announced this little escapade, working hand-in-glove with an international ensemble of agencies. From Homeland Security Investigations to the IRS (yes, even tax collectors get to play hero sometimes), the operation included partners from the United Kingdom, Germany, Ireland, France, Canada, Ukraine, and Lithuania. It seems no one wanted to miss the party-not even the Secret Service, which I imagine arrived in sunglasses and earpieces, whispering cryptic things into their cuffs. 🕶️

My friends, the market responded with all the restraint of a caffeinated squirrel. OKB shot up a staggering 140 percent in a single day, brushing past the $110 mark like a careless aristocrat. A new high, or so they say, though in the grand ledger of chaos, who can tell? 💸

On August 12, PeckShield dropped the bomb on X, revealing that Bitcoin deposits on Odin.fun plummeted from 291 BTC to 232.8 BTC in less than two hours. Talk about a dramatic exit! 🎭

Last week, the markets went from “meh” to “whoa!” faster than you can say “HODL.” Ethereum (ETH) shot past $4,300, a level we haven’t seen since the days when we all thought we were crypto geniuses. Meanwhile, Bitcoin (BTC) was busy flirting with a breathtaking $121,000, inching ever closer to its previous all-time high. And now, some financial analysts are suggesting that the real game-changer might just be U.S. retirement savings. Who knew your 401(k) could be the new hotshot in town? 🎉

August 2025 – They say everything in Moscow happens slowly, except perhaps a man falling in love or Ethereum pushing numbers. Today, the Ethereum network bustles with more activity than Pavel Ivanovich after three glasses of vodka, hitting a record 1.875 million transactions in a single day. 📈 Is it progress, or merely the feverish … Read more

According to them smarty-pants at crypto.news, Chainlink (LINK) shot up to $24.28 on Wednesday, Aug. 13, Asian time. That’s a 50% weekly gain and a whopping 123% from its low point this year. Market cap’s sittin’ pretty at $16.4 billion – that’s more than a hill of beans! 🌟

But lo! It stands on the precipice of yet another triumph, poised to surpass the American pharmaceutical behemoth, Eli Lilly. One can only imagine the boardroom meetings at Eli Lilly, where the executives must be pondering their next move-perhaps a new line of anti-crypto anxiety medication? 💊

The witty curmudgeon Santiment, with an eye sharper than a falcon, has observed the puzzlements of small traders who, in disbelief, scatter their coins like fools at a masquerade. Amidst this great carnival of skepticism, the grand whales surf the tumult of the sea, seizing these precious coins from the hands of starry-eyed plebeians. 🌊🦈

[Oh, hear the grandiose thump!] The enterprise reported $658M in revenue for Quarter Two; alas, the mirage of prosperity was overshadowed by a $482M loss, a ghostly reflection of IPO-related spending. 🐉

This metric, which is basically Bitcoin’s ego, has been on a downward spiral since Ether decided to stop being a wallflower. 🧠 Since then, it’s dropped 10%, sparking whispers of “altseason” like it’s a secret society. 🕵️‍♀️