The witty curmudgeon Santiment, with an eye sharper than a falcon, has observed the puzzlements of small traders who, in disbelief, scatter their coins like fools at a masquerade. Amidst this great carnival of skepticism, the grand whales surf the tumult of the sea, seizing these precious coins from the hands of starry-eyed plebeians. 🌊🦈
[Oh, hear the grandiose thump!] The enterprise reported $658M in revenue for Quarter Two; alas, the mirage of prosperity was overshadowed by a $482M loss, a ghostly reflection of IPO-related spending. 🐉
This metric, which is basically Bitcoin’s ego, has been on a downward spiral since Ether decided to stop being a wallflower. 🧠 Since then, it’s dropped 10%, sparking whispers of “altseason” like it’s a secret society. 🕵️♀️
Now, this ETF is-allegedly-backed by actual bitcoin. Not futures, not IOUs scribbled on a napkin, but the real thing! 🙌 And here’s the kicker: you don’t even need to understand how a digital wallet works! Just throw money at it, and voilà-you’re cryptofied. 🚀
“One might say the market is a ballet of disbelief,” Santiment mused on X, noting that bearish whispers outnumber bullish shouts like a Russian winter outlasts summer. The traders, it seems, are dancing to a tune they cannot hear, their movements dictated by panic rather than logic. 🤯
Pantera’s DAT portfolio includes investments in everything from the underwater-basket-case-turned-classy-cryptos such as BitMine Immersion, Twenty One Capital (because numbering things is so last century), DeFi Development Corp, to the gaming-adventure-possibly-highly-addictive SharpLink Gaming. Alongside these daring ventures are Satsuma Technology, Verb Technology Company, CEA Industries, and Mill City Ventures III-because why not have a few more names to forget at the pub?
But then, as if on cue, it starts tripping over its shoelaces. At the time of writing-don’t ask me what that “writing” thing is-it’s hanging at $3.17, which is a measly 1.2% drop from its recent high of roughly $3.22 in the past day.
As the traders and analysts squint at their screens like hawks eyeing a field mouse, they’re on the lookout for signs of strength or weakness in this wild market. One particularly curious fellow, BorisVest from CryptoQuant, has taken it upon himself to dissect Binance’s share of the global trading pie. 🍰
Transak, a Web3 payments wizard, has conjured up $16 million in a funding round led by Tether and IDG Capital. With this magic money, they’ll expand their stablecoin payment platform, which, let’s be honest, is just crypto that doesn’t make your wallet cry. The funds will also help them slay dragons in emerging markets. Oh, and they announced this on X, because why not? 🐦
In the midst of this theatrical display, it appears that our pal, BitMine Immersion Technologies, has decided to play the role of the generous benefactor, declaring an increase in its Ethereum purchasing extravaganza by an astonishing $20 billion. This brings their total capacity to a staggering $24.5 billion. One must wonder-what does one even do with such wealth? Buy a yacht to float around in circles, perhaps? 🛥️
