The market, that capricious beast, now writhes in uncertainty, its investors as indecisive as a hero in a Gogol tale. ETH, poor soul, moves with the sluggishness of a government clerk mired in red tape. And lo, the Ethereum ETFs, once flush with capital, now weep bitter tears of outflow-a record-breaking $787.74 million vanished into the ether! 🌪️💰
With 19.9 million BTC in circulation, roughly 72% are now hoarded tighter than a miser’s wallet. Cold storage investors? More like frozen assets. ❄️
From Aug. 31 to Sept. 6, thirteen ventures collectively raked in $709.6 million. And guess what? It wasn’t just about throwing money into random projects. No, no. Investors were laser-focused on infrastructure platforms and AI-powered startups like Kite AI, Aria Protocol, and Everlyn. Apparently, everyone wants their blockchain solutions scalable and their AI smarter than your average toaster. 🤖
Even though the price of BTC has been on a bit of a rollercoaster ride over the past year, miners are still finding it tough to stay profitable and keep the world’s largest blockchain secure. A crypto expert recently chimed in on the state of the Bitcoin mining industry, and let me tell you, it’s not all sunshine and rainbows.
The magic moment arrived on September 4 when the deal closed, making CleanCore the proud creator of the only official Dogecoin treasury – all backed by the Dogecoin Foundation and, naturally, the House of Doge. A match made in crypto heaven. 🌙
Ah, the grand tragedy of capital markets-a restless beast in the throes of metamorphosis. As cruel monetary policies cast their gloomy beams over a world already rent asunder, one cannot help but observe with a kind of grim amusement the rise of blockchain as a thorn in the side of ancient, creaking financial empires.
Data from CoinGlass, a place where numbers dance and sometimes tell tales, reveals that on September 6th, the speculative excitement around DOGE took a much-needed nap. Over the last 24 hours, the open interest in DOGE-a measure of how many people are betting on its future-showed a mere 0.13% decline. 🐶📉
The tale unfurled in Paris, a city of lights and revelations, where the Financial Action Task Force (FATF), Egmont Group, INTERPOL, and the United Nations Office on Drugs and Crime (UNODC) unveiled their handbook-a modern-day grimoire of financial sorcery. 📜🔍
How’d they do it? Increased hashrate, baby! They bumped it up to a massive 59.6 EH/s and even got their Texas wind farms involved. If only I could find a way to turn my apartment fan into a money-making machine. 🌬️
This is the second time this has occurred in 2025, which, frankly, is a bit show-offy. The last time (February 2025, for those keeping track – though why would you?) was followed by months of… well, let’s call it “thoughtful contemplation” at approximately $0.00001. Which is, you know, a price.
