It all started when those clever clogs at the US Department of Commerce decided to share their top-secret economic data – GDP, PCE, all that jazz – through Chainlink
LINK
$23.91
24h volatility:
1.2%
Market cap:
$16.21 B
Vol. 24h:
$2.78 B
and, wouldn’t you know it, Pyth Network too! They’ll be flinging this data all over nine blockchains – Bitcoin, Ethereum, even that TRON one! 😮
This little escapade signals that blockchain isn’t just for tinkering techies and internet weirdos anymore; it’s practically moving into the neighborhood with a giant banner saying, “Welcome to the future!” Let’s not forget that with this blockchain bonanza, the crypto crowd is also seeing a surge in demand for Layer 2 solutions. Because who wouldn’t want to travel on a blockchain expressway? 🚗💨
As you might imagine, the news of this disruption ricocheted across social media, with users shouting from the digital rooftops about whether this pesky downtime was merely a technical glitch or some shady market shenanigans. Spoiler alert: the speculation was rampant! 🎭
And what of this union? Picture it: an all-stock spectacle, with the company retaining its sparkling moniker, American Bitcoin. Founders Eric Trump and Donald Trump Jr., in their infinite wisdom, along with Hut 8, will command a whopping 98% of what may or may not become the next Silicon Valley-and maybe even the internet’s favorite new meme. Asher Genoot, the czar of Hut 8’s CEO, whispers sweet nothings to Reuters, promising a swift marriage, with trading to commence in early September-fasten your seat belts; it’s going to be one rollercoaster of a crypto-love story.
The officials, those stoic guardians of the blockchain, “confirmed” the suspension, as if merely acknowledging the obvious. And, bless their diligently typing fingers, they’ve since “restored” the service. A rather bland verb, “restored”, don’t you think? It lacks a certain… je ne sais quoi. A touch of frantic urgency, perhaps? But, alas, and here’s the sting in the tail, futures trading remains stubbornly, exquisitely unavailable.
“All futures trading is temporarily unavailable,” Binance announced on X, with the air of a doctor delivering bad news. Their team, we are assured, is working to resolve the matter. One can only hope they’re not using a Ouija board. 👻
Pal, with the enthusiasm of a man who’s just discovered a new type of chart, shared visuals of XRP forming various long-term patterns: falling wedges, descending triangles, and other geometric curiosities that would make Euclid himself blush. 📉🔺 Indeed, XRP appears to be an artist trapped in its own technical renaissance.
The advisory clarifies the Foreign Board of Trade (FBOT) registration framework, allowing non-US exchanges to provide direct market access to US customers. One can almost hear the sigh of relief from crypto companies that were forced to set up shop overseas due to regulatory uncertainty 🌎.
On the 28th day of August-a date chosen with the solemnity of a tsar’s tea party-the CFTC declared its allegiance to Part 48 regulations. Foreign platforms may now register as FBOTs (Foreign Boards of Trade, not For-Benefit-Of-Turgenev) instead of the dreaded DCMs. Digital assets? Included. Drama? Abundant.
“Here’s every move Cathie Wood and Ark Invest made in the stock market today 8/27”