Mesdames et Messieurs, préparez vos rires et vos quolibets! Le géant Google, ce grand farceur, nous présente sa dernière invention: une chaîne de blocs L1, nommée avec toute la modestie d’un roi-Google Cloud Universal Ledger (GCUL)! 🎭 Ils promettent vitesse et faible coût pour les paiements, comme un valet promettant la lune à sa maîtresse.
The Saga of the Shrinking Shibe
At present, the leading cryptocurrency is exchanging hands at a rather paltry $111,794, having recently plummeted to an intraday low of $100,381. One might say it’s a bit like watching a once-mighty steed now reduced to a mere nag. 🐴💸
In a press release that could make even the most stoic of investors raise an eyebrow, dated August 27, Metaplanet announced that its board had given the green light for the issuance of up to 555 million new shares in an international offering that could rake in a cool $837 million. The Tokyo-listed firm, in a move reminiscent of a cat eyeing a particularly enticing laser pointer, stated that nearly all proceeds will be dedicated to Bitcoin purchases between September and October. This marks the most significant expansion of its BTC treasury since it decided last year to don the mantle of a “Bitcoin-first treasury company.”
Ethereum, the impetuous middle child, frequently interrupts familial discourse with headlines both grandiose and fleeting. Now, with ETH taking a sober step backward (one could mistake it for melancholia, were it not for the predictable volatility), the old voices mutter, recalling the distant orgy of 2021, when Ethereum loitered near its zenith before marching off into price discovery as if attending a poetry salon.
“Solana’s just faster,” he shrugs, probably clutching a cigar and smirking like a street fighter. It’s a scandal-that folks still cling to that old blockchain dinosaur. The kid on the block might just steal the crown and dance on Ethereum’s gray, dusty bones, claiming the throne for stablecoins. Who would’ve thought? The little engine that could, poised to steal the show! 🎭💸
He reckons the price might keep slidin’, maybe all the way down to $75,000. “That’s a mighty fall,” he says, squintin’ at the horizon. “But then again, this here market’s as predictable as a jackrabbit in a thunderstorm.” 🥕🐇
“This latest ascent in financial flows commenced when the illustrious Tom Lee, with his ETH treasury enterprise known as BitMine, began to amass Ether with great fervor,” Mr. Woo did declare in a missive upon the platform known as X. The surge, which began in the month of July, has marked the highest levels of inflow in no less than two years. Analysts, those ever-watchful sentinels of the market, assert that the corporate treasuries of Ether are the very engines driving this momentum. 🚀
The N-1A filing, a parchment of dreams, envisions this ETF dancing on the Cboe BZX Exchange, cradling BNB in the arms of a crypto custodian, while third-party validators, like shadowy poets, may stake its wealth, some tethered to REX’s clandestine whispers. 📜
. This fine fellow sauntered into the