Cryptonews

Bloomberg’s erudite Senior ETF Analyst, Eric Balchunas, has confirmed that the NYSE is diligently granting certificates to a new crop of crypto ETFs-Bitwise’s Solana (SOL), Grayscale’s GSOL, and their ilk. It appears they’re all lining up to pirouette onto the grand stage, barring a last-minute apparition of the SEC’s shadowy intervention. But one suspect remains conspicuously absent: XRP. The community is left to ponder, with a soupçon of sarcasm, whether the SEC is perhaps too busy playing hide-and-seek with the elusive piece of the puzzle.

Approximately 83.6% of the Bitcoin populace is presently basking in profits, though one must be cautious not to be overexcited-exceeding 95% might turn the room into quite a combustive spectacle.

Revealed in a report so diligently compiled by Reuters, this partnership is set to be the guardians of two new paragons of digital thought-supercomputers by the quaint names of Lux and Discovery. These electronic sentinels, akin to the giant turtles from Russian lore, will undertake quests to conquer the grand challenges of our day, from imitating the Herculean task of fusion energy, to the delicate art of cancer treatment, and the mysterious realm of drug discovery, not to mention their duties in the high-stakes chess game of national security.

Selig, with the fervor of a man who has seen the light-or perhaps just the glow of a crypto wallet-confirmed his nomination on X (formerly Twitter, now a digital cesspool of half-truths and memes). He vows to toil endlessly, like a Sisyphus of the markets, to make America the “crypto capital of the world.” Ah, the sweet delusions of grandeur! 🌍💰

On-chain data, that most reliable of diviners, reveals a pattern as clear as a foggy London morning: when Bitcoin’s supply in profit exceeds 95%, the market enters a feverish state akin to a dinner party where everyone insists on clinking their glasses at once. Such euphoria, of course, is always followed by a correction-nature’s way of reminding us that gravity applies to portfolios as well as physics.

Behold, the drama unfolds! 🎭 This proposal arrives as the public collectively gasps at Trump’s pardoning of Binance’s Changpeng Zhao. One might say it’s a tale as old as time-politicians trading while in power, all while the rest of us are left to ponder how they manage to afford those fancy suits. 🤡

According to the Sui Community, the sentiment is 90% bullish, a figure that would make even the most stoic philosopher raise an eyebrow. With 29,000 votes cast, it’s clear the crowd favors the notion that $3 is just the beginning. A 5.7% surge in 24 hours? A mere flicker of light in the vast, dark expanse of crypto’s uncertainty.

Growing institutional confidence in bitcoin as a strategic reserve asset has taken a major step forward with a historic move by S&P Global Ratings. The agency assigned a “B-” issuer credit rating (because “A+” was too scary) with a stable outlook to Strategy Inc. (formerly Microstrategy Inc.) on Oct. 27, marking the first-ever rating of a bitcoin treasury company by a major credit rating agency. The decision highlights how traditional credit markets are beginning to formally evaluate companies whose balance sheets are deeply tied to digital assets-a milestone that the crypto industry views as a significant validation of bitcoin’s growing institutional legitimacy. Or, as the market whispers, “Finally, someone gave Bitcoin a report card!” 📚

Teaming up with Dfns, a French fintech outfit that’s as slick with wallet infrastructure as a Parisian waiter with a wine list, IBM’s cooking up something spicy. 🥖🔥 Dfns, mind you, already juggles 15 million digital wallets across 250 clients, so they’re no slouch. By blending IBM’s high-assurance computing with Dfns’ wallet wizardry, this partnership aims to create a fortress of security for digital assets. Quantum-safe cryptography? Check. Hardware security modules? Check. Cloud environments? You betcha. It’s like Fort Knox, but with more zeros and ones. 🏰✨

A mere 7% nudge-a hiccup for a whale, a yawn for a trader-could send it leaping toward the next riffle. On-chain whispers and chart scribbles hint this leap might come sooner than your ex’s LinkedIn update. 📊