On July 17, the House of Representatives pulled off a major coup by passing three cryptocurrency bills. Imagine that! A room full of politicians, who probably thought “blockchain” was a new thriller movie, finally realized they should probably sort this whole regulatory thing out. It’s good to know that they’re finally getting with the times—or at least trying! 😅
The audacity of the announcement follows a curious softening of heart by Russia’s central bank towards the realm of digital currencies. Oh, how the tables have turned! The central bank, an institution renowned for its resistance, has given a nod to a law that permits companies to juggle crypto for international affairs, a cunning little ploy to shimmy around the cumbersome Western sanctions draped over them like a worn-out coat in the depths of winter.
Despite the sell pressure, PUMP initially surged to an all-time high of $0.006812 before sliding nearly 20% the next day. Still, the token opened well above expectations—trading 40% higher than its presale price—even with a high percentage of unlocked supply. 🎉
With a market capitalization larger than the ambitions of a splendid dinner party at Claridge’s—over $11.18 billion, mind you—Chainlink continues its matinee performance within the ever-exciting theatre of blockchain infrastructure, clutching a bullish outlook like an old friend.
Amid the persisting market rally, BlackRock has remained committed to buying the leading cryptocurrency by market capitalization in large quantities. It has made another massive Bitcoin purchase just one day after it acquired about $416 million worth of Bitcoin in one go. The firm is renowned for consistently topping its ever-rising portfolio without making any sale attempts in recent times.
On March 2, 2025, RTE (the transmission system operator) had to pay nearly €12,000 per megawatt-hour to European counterparts to dispose of excess electricity. That’s like paying someone to take your leftover pizza after you’ve already eaten your fill. It’s a real head-scratcher, isn’t it?
Brendan Thomas, AUSTRAC’s fearless leader, made it crystal clear: they’re done with checking off boxes and pretending to care. The new proposal is being hailed as the most significant update to Australian anti-money laundering laws in an entire generation! That’s like a hundred years in crypto years – a truly earth-shattering shift.
The showstopper? The country’s poised-to-be-famous stablecoin bill, the GENIUS Act. Yes, you read that right—GENIUS! It’s now strutting its stuff all the way to President Donald Trump’s desk, like the prom queen ready for her crown. 💁♂️ Will he sign it, or will it end up gathering dust like last year’s fashion trends?
Introduced by Rep. French Hill, the bipartisan H.R. 3633 divides oversight between the SEC and CFTC, with the CFTC regulating digital commodities like Bitcoin on mature blockchains and the SEC handling investment-related tokens. It clarifies definitions for terms like “digital commodity” and “blockchain,” exempts certain decentralized assets from SEC registration, and sets rules for trading platforms, brokers, and stablecoins. Despite support, the Act faced opposition from Democrats like Rep. Maxine Waters, who criticized it for weak consumer protections and potential conflicts with President Trump’s crypto ventures. The bill H.R. 3633 passed the House with a majority of 294 yeas to 134 nays.
In an announcement that stirred the proverbial pot on July 17, the Cyber Foundation boldly stated that Enlightify Inc. intends to amass a staggering $20 million worth of CYBER tokens over the upcoming year, as part of its masterfully calculated digital asset treasury strategy. Dear reader, who said romance is dead? ⏳