Transak, a Web3 payments wizard, has conjured up $16 million in a funding round led by Tether and IDG Capital. With this magic money, they’ll expand their stablecoin payment platform, which, let’s be honest, is just crypto that doesn’t make your wallet cry. The funds will also help them slay dragons in emerging markets. Oh, and they announced this on X, because why not? 🐦
In the midst of this theatrical display, it appears that our pal, BitMine Immersion Technologies, has decided to play the role of the generous benefactor, declaring an increase in its Ethereum purchasing extravaganza by an astonishing $20 billion. This brings their total capacity to a staggering $24.5 billion. One must wonder-what does one even do with such wealth? Buy a yacht to float around in circles, perhaps? 🛥️
Mesh, the digital payments and crypto infrastructure provider with more tokens than a kid’s piggy bank, announced on Aug. 12, 2025, that it had welcomed Ripple USD (RLUSD) into its payment ecosystem. Yes, folks, RLUSD is now part of the family-a family that includes over 50 other tokens, because apparently, variety is the spice of blockchain life.
Let’s pause for a moment of academic awe: Daily trading volumes shot up 208% to a dizzying $12.4 billion. Analysts threw their calculators in the air and declared a 95% chance of ETF approval by October 2025. Or as they say in finance, “almost certainly, unless it’s Tuesday or Jerome Powell wakes up cranky.” 📈💥
Later-stage rounds-those portly gentlemen already in top-hats and monocles-snapped up 52 % of the coins, the second time since ’21 they have out-lunched the barefoot children of pre-seed. What does this portend? Nothing more nor less than the senescence of a market that once imagined it would never age, like Natasha Rostova dancing at her first ball forever.
Our intrepid analyst, the ever-astute @follis_, has pointed out the clear breakout above $0.30, confirming that there is indeed a pulse of buying interest following the consolidation phase. The chart, a veritable tapestry of numbers and lines, reveals the formation of an ascending triangle-an emblem of bullish sentiment, or so they say. One can only hope it doesn’t turn out to be a mere mirage in the desert of crypto.
Ah, but the true puppet master in this high-stakes pantomime is liquidity-plaything of speculators and hedge fund aristocrats alike-whose trends can resurrect or ruin the momentum faster than you can say “quantitative easing.”
The Chainlink (LINK) cryptocurrency has ascended to the pinnacle of the 100 largest coins by market cap in the past 24 hours, with its token surging more than 8% to touch highs of $24.07 across major crypto exchanges. This marks the first time LINK has traded above the $24 mark since February 1, 2025, a feat achieved amidst a surge in the total value secured. 🎉
In a shocking turn of events (not really), Kwon copped a plea deal in the Southern District of New York, avoiding a trial that would have been more dramatic than a Korean soap opera 📺. His lawyers and prosecutors cooked up a deal that’ll likely save him from the maximum sentence of 25 years in the slammer. Instead, he might get off with a mere 12 years – a crypto Christmas miracle 🎅.
Delving deeper into the murky waters of market analysis, CRYPTOWZRD has observed that both the daily chart for XRP and XRPBTC closed with all the enthusiasm of a wet blanket on Monday. This unfortunate turn of events coincided with Bitcoin’s price action, which, like a domineering elder sibling, has been pulling the strings of XRP’s performance.