Cryptonews

After what seemed like an eternity of monetary tightening, the Federal Reserve is giving us a juicy surprise – they’re talking about shifting gears from quantitative tightening to more rounds of quantitative easing (QE). In simple words: get ready for those money taps to open up again.

The odds say it’s a coin flip-48% chance of hitting $95K. But with the way things are going, Bitcoin might as well be a turtle racing a cheetah. 🐢🐆

Thursday’s $240 million inflow into U.S. ETFs, according to Farside, marks the first positive flow since Oct. 28-a mere flicker of hope in a sea of financial chaos. 🌊🔥

Dear reader, the air crackles with the madness of crowds. Ethereum, once a titan striding across the blockchain plains, now staggers like Raskolnikov after the axe fell. Yet whispers rise: “The resurrection cometh!” Will this spectral revival lift the humble memecoin from its dung heap?

On the flip side, the on-chain data wizards are waving their spreadsheets around, insisting this is just a healthy sneeze in the grand scheme of things. Ah, the great crypto debate-where everyone’s an expert until the market decides to do the cha-cha. 💃📉

In a bold move that no one saw coming (except everyone who follows crypto, obviously), digital-payment firm Circle has urged the U.S. Treasury to establish clear and uniform rules for payment stablecoins under the freshly minted Guiding and Establishing National Innovation for U.S. Stablecoins Act (GENIUS Act). Someone’s got to steer this ship, right?

South Korean Vice Foreign Minister Kim Ji-na, in what I assume was a carefully worded statement to local media, noted the importance of “coordination” – a diplomat’s favorite word, right up there with “dialogue” and “concern.” These digital thefts, she pointed out, aren’t just about money; they’re about funding a nuclear program and generally being a nuisance to the digital ecosystem. You know, the stuff that keeps cat videos flowing. 🐱

In a conversation with Reuters, Mr. Alderoty described the idea as “attractive,” suggesting it might soothe the nerves of conventional banks who fear the encroachment of lightly-regulated non-banks. 🏦 Indeed, who would not be reassured by a “skinny” account? One imagines it to be akin to a corset-tight, restrictive, and perhaps a little uncomfortable, but undoubtedly effective in achieving its purpose.

Uranium, the radioactive heavy metal that makes nuclear reactors go “boom” (in the best possible way, of course), is now mingling in the high-flying world of decentralized finance (DeFi). With a little help from the Morpho protocol, the folks over at Oku have rolled out xU3O8-based lending. Now, hold onto your hats, dear reader, as holders of xU3O8 (a tokenized, yes, tokenized version of uranium) can use their precious radioactive tokens as collateral for good ol’ USDC loans. Oh, the joy of lending and borrowing with a touch of radioactive glamour!