Cryptonews

Apparently, after Dmitry Medvedev hinted that maybe, just maybe, Trump’s 10-day “demand” to end the Ukraine kerfuffle was a tad on the cheeky side, Trump took it upon himself to stir the pot. Posting on Truth Social that “Words are very important and can often lead to unintended consequences,” he might’ve inadvertently given the markets a minor heart attack. Who knew that a single tweet could shake global markets more than the latest season of “The Real Housewives”? 🤯📉

In a riveting thread on the social media platform X (formerly known as Twitter, because why not?), Balchunas noted that US crypto ETFs raked in a jaw-dropping $12.8 billion in inflows last month. That’s right, folks, more than a small country’s GDP! This figure outpaced all other ETFs, including the mighty VOO, which is currently sitting pretty with $713.13 billion in assets. Talk about a David and Goliath story, if David had a really good financial advisor.

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During this turbulent act, the big guys with the fancy suits and big egos didn’t run, but instead stood their ground, defying the market’s tantrum. And sure enough, on August 1st, Ethereum ETFs saw their first dip in 20 days—a modest $152.3 million pulled out—hardly a meltdown, but enough to tickle the headlines.

SoSoValue, that oracle of digits, whispers of May’s $564 million and April’s $66.25 million, now mere footnotes in this grand ballet of capital. March’s $403 million outflow? A distant memory, like a forgotten lover’s name. Cumulative inflows now stand at $9.64 billion, a 129% surge from June. The ETFs, once shy debutantes, now strut like prima ballerinas, claiming 4.77% of Ethereum’s market cap. 🎭

The crypto prophet dropped an absolute bombshell: “You still don’t own enough Bitcoin for what’s coming.” Yes, apparently the future is so bright, even your wallet needs sunglasses—and perhaps an intervention. 😎

Now, BNB has this fancy trick: a limited supply of 200 million coins, and every so often, Binance “burns” some of them. Like, they lock them up in a digital vault and say, “These are gone forever!” Because nothing says “trust us” like deleting your own product. 🧨

The leading digital currency, Ethereum, suffered a significant blow with approximately $233.71 million worth of positions being wiped out, with around $200.79 million being long bets. Bitcoin, in second place, had liquidations amounting to $134.40 million, primarily consisting of $125.45 million in long positions. These two prominent cryptocurrencies accounted for nearly 60% of the total market’s liquidations combined.

While Bitcoin stumbles like a knight with a broken lance, TRON continues its daring march, making headlines while others pack their bags. In a twist worthy of a tale by the great Tolstoy, TRX’s valor is rooted in the strange symphony of market forces—its dance partner being Ethereum, which seems to have the grace of a Russian noblewoman, outpacing Bitcoin’s more clumsy steps.

Did he speak of looming apocalyptic tides on some digital Babel tower? Certainly. Hayes, our soothsayer in a digital age, warns that the expiration of the US tariff bill is mere steps toward chaos. As if markets heed his warning and do a cautious shuffle—“Ah,” he muses, “the market’s just waiting for the NFP print to confirm our collective doom or fortune.” No economy spins enough credit fast enough—no surprise, the world’s printers are on strike—so Bitcoin and Ethereum might be the last bastions of salvation, or perhaps humor, in this mad parade. 🤡