Cryptonews

Bitcoin Rises While Haters Cluck-Could This Cluckin’ Good Rally Reach $100K? 🐔💸

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This awkward disconnect-price going up, everyone going MIA-is the crypto version of leaving your gym clothes on the living room couch and hoping no one notices. If you’ve ever owned a dog that fake-laughs at your takes until the paraquat kicks in, you know how this feels. The Santiment index is currently screaming “FRAID ME!” like a parrot who’s seen one too many bad TikTok trends while BTC just smugly tries on its $100K hat. You know it will look cute.

Bitcoin Bonanza! 😲

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A positively ripping corporate manoeuvre has occurred. Strive Inc. (Nasdaq: ASST), a firm dedicated to accumulating digital whatsits – Bitcoin, to be precise – has announced that its all-stock acquisition of Semler Scientific Inc. (Nasdaq: SMLR) has been given the nod by Semler’s shareholders. This, naturally, means a rather substantial boost to Strive’s digital holdings. One suspects a few bean counters are having a weak moment.

Bitwise Unveils 7 Crypto ETPs in Sweden-Regulated Access Sparks Buzz

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Bitwise extends its hand into Europe with new physically backed crypto ETPs on Nasdaq Stockholm, a deliberate invitation to Swedish investors to sample regulated digital wealth-without the need for a passport or a search for a foreign broker, and yes, with fewer mysterious charge codes. 😏 The announcements arrived from Nasdaq on Jan. 14, a date that might be remembered the way a chilly dawn is remembered-clear and a touch unexpected.

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Silver price surge chart

Picture it: January 2026. Silver prices are moonwalking toward $92 like they’ve got rockets strapped to ’em. CME Group, sensing blood in the water-or maybe just a chance to mint fees-rolls out a tinier futures contract. Because nothing says “democracy” like letting your cousin Larry bet his stimulus check on metal. Jin Hennig, the Global Head of Metals (a title so specific it sounds made up), claims:

SEC’s Whimsical Hunt for Zcash Ends in a Poof of Compliance 🎩🐇💸

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The inquiry, a clandestine five-act tragedy whispered into subpoenaed parchments on August 31, concluded with all the suspense of a drowsy snail race. 🐌 Alas, no dragons were found, only a tidy ledger of “transparency” and “regulatory compliance,” virtues as thrilling as watching paint dry but apparently sufficient to appease the SEC’s restless spirits. 👻

Stocks Soar on Crypto Pact: A Wild Prediction Market Tale

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According to a January 14 press release, the partnership aims to cook up and serve contracts that hinge on the goings-on of finance, entertainment, and sports, with the offerings laid out through Crypto.com Derivatives North America (CDNA), an affiliate of Crypto.com and a CFTC-registered contract market and derivatives clearing organization. In other words, they’re trying to put a smart wager on everything from Broadway bows to baseball scores.