Cryptonews

And what was the immediate impact? Well, imagine the markets as a stubborn old man suddenly sent into a frenzy after a shot of espresso-growth, rapid and unapologetic. Data from CoinMarketCap, which is basically the crystal ball of the crypto universe, shows the stablecoin market ballooned by \$9.11 billion-just 23 days after the law’s signing. Seems like rules are just suggestions, after all. The total market cap now hovers around \$276 billion, a number so large it makes you wonder if the accountants have lost track of reality.

Behold, the Smarter Web Company, a corporate sorcerer of our times, has conjured 50 Bitcoin from the void, swelling its hoard to 2,100 BTC-worth a princely $229.6 million. One might say they’ve adopted Bitcoin not merely as a treasury asset, but as a financial talisman to ward off the specters of inflation and the Invisible … Read more

Some folks swear that if Pi had been priced at $2.50 instead of what, a few cents, we’d be talking about a different universe. But nah, remember, even with a hefty start, it might’ve been a quick flame-out. Because, darling, no one gets a parachute to skydiving without some risk, and throwing a $500 price tag on a not-quite-formed crypto baby? That’s like putting a diamond tiara on a newborn – premature and potentially embarrassing.

Apparently, even digital tokens have their moments of dramatic flair. With the latest upward push, XRP’s limelight is once again occupied by the ever-fickle short-term holders-those thespian traders who switch from adoring to abandoning with the grace of a falling soufflé. The latest intel from Alphractal, a veritable maestro of on-chain data, reveals that these impatient investors are shifting gears-now bit players in a scene of broad market indecision.

In a press release that could only be described as a love letter to the crypto community, BOB, self-proclaimed “Gateway to Bitcoin DeFi,” announced its latest fundraising success. Since December of last year, the project has seen a surge in support, with the latest $9.5 million round significantly boosting its coffers and welcoming new allies to the cause. 🎉🤝

The price, glimmering now at a trembling 17-day high of $3.35, surges as if yanked upward by unseen marionette strings-caught between on-chain prophecy and technical tea leaves that assure us, “But wait, the party’s just begun!”

And yet, like every tragic hero, Block must endure the mockery of markets. A $212 million “revaluation loss”! The price dips, the crowd jeers, spreadsheets weep blood-red negative numbers. But ah, the comedy: gross profit ascends 14% to $2.54 billion, as if to say the devil always pays his actors double for the final act. 🤡

The 50-hour SMA crossed above the 200-hour SMA, confirming a golden cross on the hourly chart, indicating that short-term selling pressure is waning. Ah, the sweet relief of a market that’s no longer trying to flee in terror! 😅

President Trump, in a move that makes you wonder if retirement plans are now part of a giant game show, has signed an executive order to include Bitcoin, crypto, and all manner of hedge-fund-y types into 401(k) plans. Because, apparently, nothing says “secure future” like digital assets with more volatility than your Aunt Mabel’s age-defying moisturizer. 😂

As of July 24, 2025, these galactic financiers are sitting on a cool $731.1 million in holdings. That’s $541.64 million in blockchain reserves (because who doesn’t like a good stash?) and $189.46 million tucked away with partners. Meanwhile, their Crypto Investor Protection Fund (CIPF) ballooned to ₹69.74 crore, a 16% jump from June. Because, you know, even space cowboys need a safety net. 🌌