The 50-hour SMA crossed above the 200-hour SMA, confirming a golden cross on the hourly chart, indicating that short-term selling pressure is waning. Ah, the sweet relief of a market that’s no longer trying to flee in terror! 😅
President Trump, in a move that makes you wonder if retirement plans are now part of a giant game show, has signed an executive order to include Bitcoin, crypto, and all manner of hedge-fund-y types into 401(k) plans. Because, apparently, nothing says “secure future” like digital assets with more volatility than your Aunt Mabel’s age-defying moisturizer. 😂
As of July 24, 2025, these galactic financiers are sitting on a cool $731.1 million in holdings. That’s $541.64 million in blockchain reserves (because who doesn’t like a good stash?) and $189.46 million tucked away with partners. Meanwhile, their Crypto Investor Protection Fund (CIPF) ballooned to ₹69.74 crore, a 16% jump from June. Because, you know, even space cowboys need a safety net. 🌌
Behold! The Bitcoin short-term holders have curbed their insatiable appetite for profit-taking as prices hover near $115,000. Glassnode, that oracle of blockchain metrics, whispers sweet nothings about a “relatively balanced position,” even as the market flirts with pullbacks from its giddy all-time highs. Balanced? Perhaps. But one wonders if this is the calm before the storm-or just another episode of crypto’s perpetual drama. 🌩️
In this grand collaboration, the federal Securities and Commodities Authority (SCA) and Dubai’s Virtual Assets Regulatory Authority (VARA) are joining forces faster than you can say “decentralized finance.” A license from either VARA in Dubai or the SCA elsewhere will now work across the UAE, saving crypto enthusiasts from the bureaucratic tango of multiple approvals. Hallelujah! 🙌
👁️) look positively prehistoric.
In a press release that’s basically a love letter to CryptoPotato, these two tech-savvy rebels are joining forces to bring Morpho’s lending magic to the Pharos mainnet. This isn’t just any old partnership; it’s the beginning of a beautiful friendship that’s going to revolutionize how we handle real-world assets in the digital world. 🌍💻
With a grand flourish and a wink at the universe, they announced that their treasury-an entity as elusive as Baba Yaga’s chicken-was now focused on Ethereum. A treasure that, if fully captured, might surpass the holdings of mighty giants like SharpLink Gaming and Ether Machine-names that sound like characters from a Russian fairy tale, but are actually just cryptocurrencies vying for respectability. Imagine that! A mere flick of the wrist, and-presto!-they could be richer than a czar’s treasury.
According to this modern-day Cassandra, traditional markets are but a house of cards, and financial planners-those purveyors of false security-are leading their clients to the brink of ruin. “Bonds are safe,” they declare, with all the sincerity of a debutante feigning interest in her suitor’s hunting tales. Nonsense, says Mr. Kiyosaki! There is no safety in a market crash, only the cold, hard truth of Bitcoin’s resilience. 💎