Now, ARKB isn’t just any old ticker-it’s one of a merry band of so-called “spot Bitcoin ETFs” that the SEC blessed back in early 2024. The clever idea is that you get all the thrill of Bitcoin’s price swings without ever having to actually hold the digital treasure in your pocket. It’s like having your cake and eating it too, except the cake is a little bit… well, enigmatic! 🍪
Ah, but didn’t we hear whispers that digital payments would send cash packing? That by now, coins would be relegated to the dusty corners of sock drawers and wallets would exist only as apps on our phones? Alas, those predictions have fallen flatter than a pancake at a Weight Watchers convention. According to a recent bulletin penned by Alejandro Zamora Perez (a Banknote Issuance Specialist at the ECB, no less) and Trainee Economist Rebecca Clipal, cash remains stubbornly relevant. It’s like the Monty Python parrot of monetary instruments: “Not dead yet!” 🦜✨
Following last month’s record spends, it seems dormant bitcoins are still stirring in August like a bear waking up from hibernation. On Aug. 5, btcparser.com discovered a once-quiet whale holding coins obtained on Jan. 17, 2017, Jan. 22, 2017, and June 24, 2017, that activated 11 wallets containing 100 BTC each. The legacy Pay-to-Public-Key-Hash (P2PKH) wallets sent the coins to 11 brand new Pay-to-Witness-Public-Key-Hash (P2WPKH) addresses. Who knew wallets could have such a dramatic makeover? 💅
In a tweet, which is trendy, Ray laid out the usual cyclical dance of currencies, which, if you’re a gambler or just a glutton for punishment, you’ll find remarkably repetitive. It’s sort of like groundhog day, but with more inflation and fewer cute rodents.
More than 150,000 crypto lovers (and probably their mothers) slapped down pre-orders for a phone that, if it had any more features, would fetch your slippers. This thing isn’t just smart, it’s an honors student-crypto developers and degens alike are drooling. If bullish sentiment was a sport, Solana’s fans would be Olympic gold medalists by now.
The same SEC, the big boss with a gavel and a lot of paperwork, decided to toss a coin in the air and see what lands. Turns out, liquid staking isn’t automatically a noose around your crypto neck. No sir, it’s more like a courtesy nod. They issued a statement-probably a long, boring one-saying that whether or not it’s a security depends on the actual details, not just the shiny tokens. Who knew? Apparently, the SEC believes that staking your crypto and getting back a token isn’t always an act of selling a security-no matter what some folks feared. Think of it as a wink and a nod, depending on the “facts and circumstances,” which sounds like a legalese version of “it depends.” Because nothing says clarity like regulatory mumbo jumbo, right?
Solana-based memecoin platform Pump.fun is having a moment… but not the good kind. In July, it made a measly $24.96 million, which is about as exciting as finding out your ex blocked you on LinkedIn. That’s an 80% drop from its peak in January when it raked in over $130 million (DefiLlama knows what’s up). Looks like the memecoin party might be winding down faster than you can say “to the moon.” 🚀📉
Now, let’s break it down: SOL is currently strutting around at $164.2. And what’s this? A 24-hour volatility of 2.0%? That’s like a rollercoaster ride without the safety bar! 🎢 Hold on tight, folks! The market cap is a jaw-dropping $88.41 B, and the volume in the last 24 hours is a staggering $5.60 B. Talk about a party! 🎈
At the time of writing, BNB was changing hands at $760, with a 24-hour volume exceeding $1 billion. A slight dip in prices over the day and a 9% decrease over the past week seem almost insignificant when you consider the broader context. In the last 24 hours, BNB danced between $755 and $770, with a seven-day range of $735 to $833. Remarkably, the token is only 12% shy of its record high of $858 (according to CoinGecko data), set on the mystical date of July 28, 2025.
The coin jumped from $162 to hit $171 faster than you can say “whale money,” with the trading volume exploding 23.54%, hitting nearly $5 billion. Looks like the whales aren’t just blowing bubbles-they’re buying into the chaos.