Cryptonews

Crypto and stablecoins are muscling their way into the mainstream, and the banking world is having an existential crisis. The solution? Slap a compliance score on every wallet, because nothing says “I trust you” like grading you on a scale from “Saintly” (100) to “Probably Going To Jail” (0). BIS economists, who apparently moonlight as school hall monitors, suggest turning blockchain into your personal anti-money laundering (AML) scorecard. 🏆📉

Plot twist: XRP, the coin your uncle still calls X-B-R-P, just strapped on rocket skates and shouted “To the Mel Brooks Moon!” 🚀 The poor dollar signs are clutching their pearls while investors yell “It’s alive! It’s alive!”

In a missive most profound, the analysts of Goldman Sachs, led by the learned Jan Hatzius, proclaimed that the tariffs-those cunning taxes on foreign goods-hath burdened the American consumer with 22% of the cost, and lo, it may rise to 67%! A dire warning, indeed, yet Trump doth scoff and cry, “Fie! ‘Tis but a trifle!”

Thomas Lee, the guy with the fancy title and presumably a crystal ball, says Ethereum’s riding the AI wave and Wall Street’s infatuation with digital assets. Apparently, most stablecoins and big institutional blockchain projects are cozying up on Ethereum’s lap. Nice to be the popular kid, huh?

While blockchains with permission validators may seem exclusive and elite, they often lack the reach and resilience needed for a truly global audience. 🌍 But fear not, for permissionless blockchains like XRPL embrace the spirit of openness and flexibility, positioning themselves as the backbone of the world’s financial system. 🏦🔗

But what’s fueling this madness, you ask? Why, the price of ETH is soaring like a kite on a windy day, peeking at an all-time high of $4,738-up a solid 27% over the past seven days. The price is doing its best impression of a rocket ship, and folks seem to be jumping on board before it leaves the atmosphere.

But, dear readers, the critics are not to be outdone. They insist it’s nothing more than a dangerously overvalued wager on a future that may never come to pass. How delightfully scandalous!

“The crux of the matter,” intoned Swyftx lead analyst Pav Hundal to CryptoMoon on Thursday, “is that the entire market is balancing precariously on the assumption that Jerome Powell et al. are going to play Santa Claus next month.” And yet, despite his cautionary tone, Ether continues its frolic just 2.80% shy of its 2021 peak. Truly, it seems hope springs eternal-or perhaps someone spiked the water cooler with optimism and misplaced apostrophes.

Ah, the whales! Those deep-pocketed investors who seem to have a sixth sense for market dips. Cardano’s recent momentum is being buoyed by these aquatic titans, who have been steadily increasing their ADA exposure during key market dips. This accumulation trend is reminiscent of historical patterns where the wealthy position themselves ahead of major price breakouts, often reducing available supply and creating upward price pressure. It’s almost as if they’re playing a game of Monopoly, but with real money and far fewer top hats.

Behold, the celestial marvels of SpaceX! 🚀 In a twist worthy of a Soviet-era novel, Arkham Intelligence reveals the rocketry titans have hoarded 8,285 BTC-enough to buy a small planet (or a very fancy spaceship). 💸 The first purchase? December 31, 2020-a date so dramatic, it’s practically a plot twist! 🪐 The last? June 10, … Read more