🤑 CZ’s Great Escape: Will Trump Pardon the Crypto Tsar? 🕵️‍♂️

Behold, the whispers of the corridors of power! Fox Business’s own Charles Gasparino, that intrepid harbinger of financial gossip, hath proclaimed that the White House doth consider a pardon for CZ. 🧐 Yes, the very same CZ who once ruled the crypto realm with an iron fist, now awaits the presidential pen’s mercy. The crypto masses hold their breath, their digital coins trembling in anticipation.

Crypto Market Chaos: $16.8B Lost, Manipulation or Trump’s Tariff Blame?

What started as a week full of promise for Bitcoin (BTC)-two shiny new high scores-ended with a dramatic nosedive. The price briefly plummeted under $110,000, with Bitstamp recording the low at $109,683 on October 10, while Coingecko reported an even scarier dip to $105,896. Some sources even whispered about a terrifying drop to $101,516 before it bounced back, probably gasping for air. 😱

Crypto Chaos: Trump’s Tariffs Trigger $900B Wipeout! 🤑💥

Crypto Market Meltdown Chart

In a mere 12 hours, the market decided to play a game of “let’s vanish $900 billion, shall we?” 🪄 Poof! Just like that, the capitalization went from a whopping $4.120 trillion to a measly $3.3 trillion. Months of gains? Gone. Vanished. Kaput. But fear not, dear readers, for it bounced back to $3.670 trillion by the time the ink dried on this tale. 📈✨

You Won’t Believe What Happened to My Bitcoin… 😳

The Crypto Fear & Greed Index is now at 35-aka “I regret all my choices.” RSI? A measly 25.97. That’s not oversold, that’s emotionally bankrupt. Investors? Gone. Vanished. Like my chances of a decent bagel in L.A. And Bitcoin? Oh, it didn’t just dip-it faceplanted. Selling pressure? More like a flash mob of panic sellers screaming, “GET ME OUT!” 🏃‍♂️💨

Crypto Plummets! 🤯 Trump’s Tariffs to Blame?

Over 1.6 million traders found themselves suddenly…less wealthy, to the tune of a rather alarming $19 billion. And why? Apparently, it all stemmed from Donald Trump deciding to slap a 100% tariff on China. Honestly, the geopolitical landscape is quite exhausting, isn’t it? It’s always something.🌍

Shiba Inu’s Wild Ride: Will It Moon or Crash Like My Last Diet?

While SHIB’s price action is about as exciting as watching paint dry (unless that paint is Bitcoin, which just hit another all-time high because of course it did), some chart-wielding nerds insist it’s forming a “structure” that could lead to an “explosive rally.” Translation: It might go up. Or down. Or sideways. Who knows? 🤷‍♂️

Crypto Carnage: Markets Go Mad, 9.45B Wiped, 1.42M Liquidated

Bitcoin pulled the procession into a mud-puddle ( BTC ), briefly flirting with the edge at $109,683, a drop that wore a near-double-digit grin in 24 hours. Ethereum ( ETH) volleyed from an intraday high of $4,386 down to $3,574 at 5:21 p.m. EST, while XRP sank to $1.58, its lowest jest since Nov. 29, 2024. 😂

Pi Coin’s Unlucky 13: Will It Flip the Script? 🍀💰

But hold on to your overalls, folks, because this tale of woe might just take a turn. Technical and on-chain indicators are whispering sweet nothings about a potential rebound-a 13% climb, no less. And for Pi, that number 13 might just be the lucky charm it’s been waiting for, turning its fortunes around like a farmer finding a gold nugget in his pigpen. 🌽💸

BNB Chain memes plunge 95%! Why traders eye Solana comeback

Enter BNB’s memecoin crash, a train wreck of losses between 60% to 95%, which sent traders running back to the comforting arms of Solana. Why? Well, turns out, Solana’s got better on-chain fundamentals and a much cleaner macro setup. Who would have thought, right? 🙄

Cardano’s Hydra Node V1.0: Scalability Just Got Spicy 🌶️

ADA Price Chart

The release notes-under the banner “A big release of hydra-node! It’s official. We’re at version 1.0.0!”-are basically a love letter to developers. 💌 The team promises to “continue to support [the] Hydra Head protocol into production environments,” even while they’re still wrestling with the “largest outstanding known problem,” partial fanout. Oh, and don’t miss the tiny detail that it’s marked “Pre-release” on GitHub. Because nothing says “ready for prime time” like a pre-release tag, right? 🤔