CoinDCX’s CEO, Sumit Gupta, dropped a bombshell: “40% of our users are now from tier-2 and tier-3 cities.” Indore, a city famed for its cleanliness drives and poha, has 10% of its population trading crypto. That’s like saying Mumbai’s 2-3% are just warming up with a pre-game snack. 🍛
The decentralized finance (DeFi) platform Balancer, in a rare moment of candor, conceded that a recent “security breach” affecting its V2 protocol was indeed substantial. One might say it was “significant” like a hatpin at a durbar. Notably absent from its update was any confirmation that losses exceeded the princely sum of $100 million. Ah, but the exactity of that figure? Still under deliberation, pending the solemn nod of multiple sages. What a delightfully Byzantine conclusion!
This little initiative, my dear reader, is quite the doozy. With over $130 billion under management (yes, you heard that right, billion with a B), WisdomTree is now publishing fund valuations on-chain. Decentralized platforms, previously left in the dark, can now access verified pricing data. It’s like bringing a bit of Mayfair to the Wild West of DeFi. 🌟
Ah, the world of finance-a circus where the clowns wear suits and the tightrope walkers juggle billions! 🌍💼 Ripple, the crypto ringmaster, has announced a partnership so grand, so audacious, it would make even the most jaded capitalist blush. Joining them are Mastercard, the global payments juggernaut; WebBank, the silent financier; and Gemini, the crypto exchange with stars in its eyes. Together, they’re diving headfirst into the murky waters of the XRPL to test the RLUSD stablecoin. Why? Because nothing says “progress” like settling card transactions on a blockchain! 🚀
O, Ethereum! Thy price hath failed to bask in the sun, plunging below $3,500 like a fool’s dream. Like Bitcoin, thou art a victim of thy own ambition! 🧙♂️
Breeden assured everyone that the UK will implement its stablecoin rules “just as quickly as the US,” which is either a bold promise or a clever way to avoid admitting they’re frantically Googling “how to regulate crypto” as we speak. 🤔 This comes hot on the heels of the US passing the GENIUS Act in July, which, let’s be honest, sounds like something a Bond villain would come up with. 🦹♂️
Ah, Gemini Space Station Inc. (Yes, really. Space Station? Talk about lofty aspirations!) is all set to make its grand entrance into the bustling world of prediction markets, a sector so lively that even the Trump family has decided to throw its hat into the ring. According to a cryptic leak from some very “anonymous” sources (because who doesn’t love a good mystery?), Gemini’s latest plot involves competing with a growing list of financial and crypto firms. Yes, including a Trump-backed venture.
Bitcoin’s sittin’ pretty at $103,911, up 3.30% in the last 24 hours, accordin’ to Brave New Coin. It’s still shy of its recent high jinks near $110K, but the tea leaves say it’s buildin’ a base for another run. Volume’s creepin’ up like a coyote at dusk, suggestin’ folks are stackin’ their chips around $103K-a sure sign of a rally brewin’. 🦉📈
Ryan Rugg, the big cheese of digital assets at Citi Treasury and Trade Solutions, boasted that their tokenized cash system is live in the U.S., U.K., Hong Kong, and Singapore. Dubbed Citi Token Services, it’s already shuffling billions in real deals, from supply chain payments to capital markets settlements. 🏦💼
Analysts, those sardonic dramatists of finance, whisper that the price may yet descend further, as if the market itself were a particularly cruel joke.
