In this grand theater of blockchain, Tharwa’s thUSD, backed by the sacred trinity of sukuk, gold, and real estate (with a dash of sovereign debt for flavor), has found its stage. Real Finance, ever the gracious host, opens its arms to this RWA-backed prodigy, promising “sustainable onchain yield.” Sustainable, you say? In a world where greed and volatility waltz hand in hand, one can only marvel at such audacity.
Investors and crypto traders are now demanding a class action lawsuit against the creators of the Trove project, a venture that has proven as reliable as a gentleman’s promise to return a borrowed book.
According to the latest whispers from the market, Japanese government bond yields have surged with all the flair of a Coward revival. The 30-year bond yield, as mentioned, hit 3.90%, a historic crescendo. Meanwhile, the 40-year bond yield, not to be outdone, climbed 28 basis points to 4.22%, another record. Even the 10-year yield, that sprightly young thing, rose to 2.37%, a level last seen when flapper dresses were all the rage.
Recently, SEC Chairman Paul Atkins, a man with a penchant for clarity amid chaos, triumphantly announced that the Digital Asset Market Clarity Act of 2025 is ready to be presented to none other than the U.S. President. Yes, you heard right! The same President who probably still thinks ‘blockchain’ is a new type of fitness program.
According to our pals over at Arkham Intelligence (who are definitely not in the business of making intelligence sound fancy), this wallet first got its mitts on Bitcoin way back in 2013, when BTC was trading for less than $7! That’s a gain of around 13,900 times. Talk about a return on investment that would make your grandma faint!
Behold the 4-hour chart, where BTC stands at a crossroads, as if auditioning for a tragic hero’s role. The ascending triangle-its edges sharp as a critic’s quill-clutches the price tight, while $90,000 looms below, a horizontal support line as inviting as a bear’s cave in winter. Should it fall, the major trendline awaits, ready to scribble a darker chapter. Yet a prior false breakout upwards suggests the market enjoys a game of cat-and-mouse, and perhaps a downward swindle is in store.
AVAX, that sly fox, clocked 1.7 million daily active addresses, a number that makes your average TikTok influencer blush. DeFi, tokenization, RWAs-oh, the drama! This surge, like a river breaking its banks, lifted the token’s price, whispering of institutional confidence. 💸
In a plot twist worthy of a detective novel, the villain withdrew 1,299 ETH in a single transaction. Our friends at PeckShield reported that the sneaky attacker was outsmarted by a sharp MEV builder during the transaction execution-a revelation that makes one ponder the intricacies of blockchain blockages.
Pump.fun, once the darling of degenerate gamblers and meme lords, has announced its first attempt at legitimacy: the Pump Fund. This is not just a pivot-it is a full-blown ideological retreat from the frothy madness of memecoins. The platform now claims to seek “structured, long-term capital deployment,” a phrase so dull it could put Solzhenitsyn to sleep.
Three people are now officially in trouble because Korea’s foreign exchange laws don’t appreciate your “creative accounting” methods. The investigation took years because, let’s be honest, following crypto transactions is about as fun as watching paint dry. 🥱