One might imagine the scene: DefiLlama, with a raised eyebrow and a sniff of disdain, declaring, “My dear Aster, your numbers are as authentic as a society matron’s laughter. We simply cannot have it.” And so, with a flick of its metaphorical wrist, the data was banished, left to wander the digital wilderness like a disgraced baronet. 🏇
In a recent missive from Phil Rosen, the co-founder of the *Opening Bell Daily*, it was revealed that while the S&P 500 has pranced about with a 106% surge in USD value, it has, in the eyes of Bitcoin, “collapsed” like a poorly constructed stage set. The Bitcoin pundits, ever the dramatic lot, have erupted in cheers, their laughter echoing through the digital halls. 🎭🎉
“Now that we’ve made new ATHs in an impulsive manner,” bleated one ‘CrediBULL Crypto’ (a name that rather begs the question, doesn’t it?), “the next leg to $150k+ has begun!” Blast through, he said. Honestly, the theatricality of it all! Though, rather conveniently, he did allow for the possibility of a little wobble downwards, somewhere between $108,000 and $118,000. A blessing in disguise, naturally, should it occur. Unless, of course, one is simply meant to ‘enjoy the ride’ to the aforementioned stratospheric figures. Rather a lot of pressure, what?
The exchanges, once brimming with the digital gold, now find their vaults eerily empty. Nearly 170,000 Bitcoins have vanished in the past month, according to the scribes of X (@btconexchanges). A mass exodus, one might say, as if the coins themselves sensed the folly of centralized custody. 🏃💨
Non content des exploits ordinaires, SBI Holdings a proclamé que sa nouvelle aventure, SBI Ripple Asia Co. Ltd., a signé une entente avec Tobu Top Tours Co. Ltd. afin de souder ensemble un système de paiements basé sur la blockchain autour de tokens exclusifs et enchanteurs. Ce manège, qui fait appel au vénérable Léger XRP, promet de s’ouvrir au public lors des premiers mois de l’année 2026. SBI Ripple Asia voit le jour grâce à un consortium formé par Ripple et SBI Holdings Inc., désireux de propulser les paiements tokenisés en terre de tourisme, de commerce et de développement régional.
Mark my words, dear reader, a seismic shift-or should I say, a theatrical upheaval-is upon us! More than 30 cryptocurrency exchange-traded fund (ETF) applications have flooded the U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC), a deluge so absurd it rivals the plots of my own comedies. Institutional interest, they say, is expanding-or perhaps, simply losing its wits! 🌪️
The SEC’s commissioners took a stroll down opposite sides of the road last week, all thanks to a new no-action letter from the agency’s Division of Investment Management. This letter says registered investment advisers and regulated funds can keep their precious crypto assets with state-chartered trust companies, as long as these companies are following the law – or at least pretending to. Oh, and they tossed in a little clarification on how custody rules from 1940 apply to digital assets. A nice little gift wrapped in 80 years of bureaucracy.
Analysts at The Kobeissi Letter are busy pointing out the bizarre tango between gold and the S&P 500 – a record 0.91 correlation coefficient in 2024. In other words, safe-haven gold and risky stocks are suddenly in sync. What’s that mean? Markets have zero faith that the Fed can keep the dollar afloat while also saving the economy. So what are investors doing? They’re diversifying like never before – into, well, *everything else.*
According to the soothsayers at Defillama.com, between Oct. 4 and Nov. 4, 2025, a billion dollars’ worth of crypto tokens will be freed from their digital dungeons. These projects, with their locking periods and vesting schedules, are like overprotective parents, shielding their coins from the harsh world of trading and selling. But alas, the time has come for these tokens to stretch their legs and face the merciless market. 🦵💸
Starknet, those clever conjurers of the Layer2 realm, have unleashed a frenzy of novelties: Bitcoin staking, an eye-watering 100 million STRK incentive, and a BTC yield product so institutional-grade it might just wear a suit and tie. The revolution never smelled so sweet.
