Celsius Network Kicks Off $220 Million Creditor Payout: What You Need to Know

Behold, dear reader, the phantasm known as Celsius Network-once a proud colossus of crypto-lending, now reduced to a shabby clerk with an abacus-has roused itself for another hand-out! Yes, the third act of this tragicomedy is upon us, starring precisely $220 million rubles-worth of restitution for the long-suffering creditors who yet clutch empty purses.

A Grand Spectacle: The Third Round of Payouts, or How the Goose Learned to Count to Three

On August the twentieth, Celsius solemnly announced its third procession of repayment, as if the very date itself possessed sacred significance. One could almost hear the rustle of unpaid bills sighing with relief.

Celsius will begin a third distribution of $220.6 million to eligible creditors. More info here: 🤡
– Celsius (@CelsiusNetwork) August 19, 2025

Hence, a staggering 64.9 % of creditors have now tasted the sweet nectar of partial recompense. Payments fluttered forth in both the spectral form of cryptocurrency and the prosaic rustle of cash, dispatched by the trustworthy hands of Coinbase, PayPal, Venmo, and Hyperwallet-those noble couriers who never lose a satoshi, unless they really, really need to.

Since its inglorious emancipation from 18-month bankruptcy back in February, Celsius has been flinging $3 billion about like a drunken squire scattering coins at carnival. To swell the coffers, the firm even unstaked its own Ethereum-those shimmering ETH tokens now liberated from their ghostly slumber-yielding $250 million like a magician pulling rabbits from thin air.

Nearly a year ago, the bankruptcy steward boasted of distributing more than $2.53 billion among 251,000 creditors-two-thirds in headcount, 93 % in value, or, as the common folk say, “close enough for government work.” An additional $127 million trickled forth in November 2024, like breadcrumbs for the eternally hungry geese.

Alas, any claimant whose surname is misspelled, or whose address contains a suspicious apartment number, must scurry to update their details posthaste in the official claims portal, lest their money be delayed by gremlin-like clerks who feast on typos for supper. Some poor souls may yet be held hostage by lawyers who argue over the number of angels that can dance on the head of a bankruptcy judge.

Meanwhile, the rumor mill grinds that a lucky few might receive stock certificates in Ionic Digital Inc.-a Bitcoin mining enterprise conjured straight from the ashes of Celsius like a phoenix wearing a miner’s helmet. Imagine: owning a slice of a company whose primary pastime is coaxing invisible coins from the bowels of the earth. Joy unbounded! 🎉

Celsius Sues Tether-The Plot Thickens Like Cold Porridge

While juggling repayments, our dear lender has also launched a lawsuit against the mighty Tether-a stablecoin so steady it allegedly wobbled like jelly in a hurricane. The charge? Breach of lending pact, specifically a “fire sale” of 39,500 Bitcoin faster than you can say “liquidation event”-all to extinguish an $812 million debt without so much as a courteous bow.

The court, apparently amused by such theatrics, permitted the case to trundle forward. Tether protested the jurisdiction, claiming U.S. benches lack dominion over their realm; yet the judge, brandishing his gavel like a sceptre of destiny, refused dismissal and sent the parties off to duel in a legal thunderstorm. Stay tuned to see whether Celsius emerges clutching victory-or merely another IOU signed by the wind. 💨