Chainlink ETF: Finally, a Way to Lose Money with Style! 🚀💸

So, Nate Geraci, the big shot President of The ETF Store, tweets-I mean, “posts on X”-that this GLNK thing is launching on December 2. Big whoop. Grayscale, those geniuses, are turning their $30M Chainlink Trust into an ETF. Why? Because apparently, the SEC said, “Sure, why not?” under Section 8(a). 🥱

It tracks the LINK spot price plus staking yields. Who cares? Oh, right, traditional investors who want a piece of Chainlink’s oracle network. Because nothing screams “traditional” like altcoins, am I right? 🙄

Meanwhile, altcoin ETF demand is surging. Shocking. Next thing you know, they’ll be launching an ETF for my leftover Chinese food. 🥡

Anyway, if you’re into this kind of stuff, go wild. Just don’t come crying to me when LINK does its usual LINK things. 📉

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2025-12-01 10:32