Coinbase’s Base network is about to give your crypto transactions a spa day-privacy-focused, stress-free, and slightly more secure. CEO Brian Armstrong, ever the crypto therapist, announced they’re rolling out private stablecoin transactions. Because nothing says “I trust you” like letting people hide their financial details from hackers, scammers, and probably their ex. The project’s been in the works since March 2025, when Coinbase hired the Iron Fish team. Coincidence? I think not. 🕵️♂️
Base is building private transactions.
We acquired Iron Fish in Mar 2025 to start working on this. More to share soon.
– Brian Armstrong (@brian_armstrong) October 21, 2025
Privacy in crypto is like a diary: everyone wants one, but no one wants to be caught reading it. Base’s new feature uses zero-knowledge proofs (ZKPs) and “view keys” to let users share info with regulators if they’re feeling extra compliant. Iron Fish claims you can hand the IRS a “read-only” version of your transaction history like a digital skeleton key. Meanwhile, their ChainPort bridge acts as a bouncer, letting only “clean funds” into the club. Because nothing ruins a crypto party like dirty money. 🚫💸
Armstrong stayed mysteriously silent on KYC checks for private transactions. Classic. He just promised more info “soon,” which in crypto-speak means “when the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie.” 🌕
Oh, and Coinbase also bought Echo, an on-chain fundraising platform, for $375 million. Because nothing says “trust” like handing a crypto influencer a blank check. Echo lets projects raise funds via token sales, and its Sonar product has helped raise over $200 million. Impressive, unless you’re a regulator trying to figure out who’s laundering what. 🚀
As for Coinbase’s stock price? It’s having a midlife crisis, dropping from $338.62 to $332.50 post-announcement. Maybe the market’s just tired of crypto’s endless drama. Or maybe it’s finally realized privacy tools and regulatory scrutiny are the ultimate toxic couple. 💔
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2025-10-22 11:37