On a Tuesday so ordinary it practically begged for mischief, Coinbase announced its grand plan: beginning in August, customers outside the United States will be able to trade tokenized stocks. Yes, real stocks-only now dressed up in blockchain attire, like bankers attending a masquerade ball where everyone pretends they aren’t bankers.
These tokenized stocks, we are told, will be backed 1:1 by the underlying assets, granting “true equity ownership.” Dividends, shareholder rights, and all the other joys of capitalism will be included, along with the “programmatic utility of the onchain economy,” which sounds suspiciously like a phrase invented by a committee that hasn’t slept since 2021.
Pre-IPO Perps Surging
In a feat of financial alchemy, Coinbase is merging traditional equities with crypto’s sleepless chaos. Traders will be able to access markets after hours, lend out their tokenized stocks for yields, use them as collateral, or pass them around like enchanted trinkets at a wizard’s bazaar.
“Our product will give all the benefits of true ownership, with all the benefits of tokenized assets. This is a great step towards unlocking global access to US markets,” proclaimed Brian Armstrong, presumably while adjusting his cape.
Not content with merely reinventing stocks, Coinbase will also roll out options trading for both crypto and equities. Options, for the uninitiated, are contracts that give you the “option” to sell at a certain price-unlike futures, which are more like binding promises you made after too much coffee.
The company is also unveiling real-world asset perpetual futures, offering exposure to indices themed around AI, China, defense, and tech. A veritable buffet of global anxieties, neatly packaged for your trading pleasure.
Meanwhile, pre-IPO perpetual futures-those magical windows into companies not yet public-have become wildly popular. SpaceX was the first, but soon Anthropic and OpenAI will join the pre-IPO carnival.
According to CryptoQuant, trading volumes for these pre-IPO perps have surged 1,100% since May, reaching around $12 billion. Binance, naturally, is dominating the market like a cat sitting on every warm laptop in the house.
Pre-IPO perpetual volume has exploded from $2M in March to $12B as of June.
Binance alone now controls ~83% of the market.
– CryptoQuant.com (@cryptoquant_com) June 16, 2026
Despite all this excitement, tokenized stocks still make up only 5% of the total tokenized real-world asset value onchain-about $1.5 billion. Ondo currently leads the pack with 59% market share, followed by xStocks with 32%. The rest, presumably, are wandering the blockchain wilderness in search of purpose.
Coinbase Boss Pushes Back at Banks
On Fox News, Brian Armstrong accused big banks of trying to sabotage the President’s crypto agenda. A bold claim, though not entirely surprising-banks tend to dislike anything that threatens their ability to charge fees for breathing near their buildings.
“They’re [banks] trying to protect their profit margins, taking money out of the pockets of hardworking Americans,” he said, in the tone of a man who has definitely rehearsed this line in front of a mirror.
Banks, it seems, are worried about stablecoin yields, which often outshine the meager interest rates they offer. They fear deposit flight-customers moving their money somewhere it might actually grow instead of quietly evaporating in a checking account.
As always, please confirm political claims with a trusted source.
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2026-06-17 09:06