Coinbase’s New Futures: Apple, Tesla, and More-Leverage Without Limits?

by

Behold, the Magnificent 7 have been magnified! Coinbase, ever the paragon of innovation, has launched stock perpetual futures for non-U.S. users, proving that even the most mundane financial instruments can be rendered infinitely more complicated. Who needs sleep when you can trade Apple at 3 a.m. in USDC? A delightfully impractical advancement, if ever there was one.

The Magnificent 7, now joined by the equally magnificent SPY and QQQ, are available for those who believe that leverage is the truest form of art. Single-stock perpetuals offer up to 10x-enough to make your portfolio dance, if only it had legs. ETFs, meanwhile, boast 20x, because why settle for a modest thrill when a financial rollercoaster awaits?

Coinbase, ever the trendsetter, has declared that its international derivatives arm operates under a regulatory framework so distinct from its U.S. exchange, one might wonder if it’s a different company entirely. A charming quirk, to be sure. The contracts, settled in USDC, are as stable as a politician’s promises-though perhaps less prone to sudden collapse.

Perpetual futures, that darling of the crypto world, are now applied to equities with the same enthusiasm a child shows for a new toy. They have no expiration, but they do have a funding rate, which is just a fancy way of saying “we’ll charge you extra if you don’t play by our rules.” A triumph of complexity, truly.

Coinbase’s CEO, Brian Armstrong, envisions an “everything exchange”-a platform where users can trade crypto, stocks, derivatives, and even prediction markets. Because nothing says “convenience” like having to navigate a labyrinth of financial instruments just to buy a coffee.

The company’s rapid expansions have been nothing short of breathtaking. From stock trading to prediction markets, from crypto to equities, Coinbase has become the financial equivalent of a circus-always dazzling, never quite sure what it’s selling.

Yet, as always, the question lingers: will this be the next big thing, or merely a fleeting distraction? For now, the markets remain as inscrutable as ever, and Coinbase, ever the showman, continues to dazzle with its audacity.

Read More

2026-03-20 14:12