In the grand theatre of corporate absurdity, where digital gold rushes meet boardroom melodrama, Sharplink—a titan of Ether hoarders—has summoned a sorcerer from the lair of BlackRock to duel in the Ethereum treasury tussle. Joseph Chalom, once a high priest of BlackRock’s $95 billion crypto temple, now dons the cape of co-CEO at Sharplink, effective July 24. One wonders if he’ll conjure ETFs from thin air or simply count Ether while humming Wagner. 🎭
Chalom’s LinkedIn, that modern-day scroll of CV gospel, claims he’ll “shape global strategy” for Sharplink’s public markets and Ethereum ventures. A noble quest, indeed, especially as BlackRock’s ETHA ETF galloped past $10 billion faster than a Cossack on Red Bull. 🏇
“Aligning strategic direction with the Ethereum ecosystem reflects a bold vision,” Chalom declared, channeling his inner messiah. Meanwhile, BitMine, the Bitcoin miner turned Ethereum bandit, scoffs: “Bold? Try buying $2 billion of ETH and flipping Sharplink’s puny 360k stash.” 🤼♂️💸
In this epic saga, Sharplink counters with Ethereum co-founder Joseph Lubin as board chairman—a move as surprising as a snowstorm in July. BitMine retaliates by appointing crypto cheerleader Tom Lee, who once called Bitcoin “the new pizza topping.” 🍕
And so the circus rolls on: two corporate Goliaths, hurling Ether and ex-Big Finance execs at each other, while the rest of us watch, popcorn in hand, wondering if this is capitalism’s peak or its punchline. 🎪
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2025-07-25 17:36