Crypto Chronicles: Will Tariffs Bring Joy or Terror in Trading Town? đŸ’°đŸ˜±

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Once upon a weekend, in the whimsical world of crypto, the markets danced with glee, holding onto their shiny gains like a child clutching a naughty gobstopper! And lo and behold, Monday morning arrived in Asia, and the crypto folk twinkled with excitement as prices began to shimmy upwards again. Who doesn’t love a surprise party?

But wait! The skies turned gray when President Trump, that cheeky fellow, announced hefty 30% tariffs upon the unsuspecting European Union and Mexico. The crypto markets, however, seemed about as rattled as a cat in a room full of laser pointers—hardly a peep was heard!

Ah, the US stock futures were a bit jittery, like a squirrel that just spotted a hawk, but they merely fell a teensy-weensy bit as the market caught a whiff of more tariff letters from the White House. I’d recommend a nice cup of chamomile tea for those anxious futures.

As the curtain rises on the second quarter earnings season, one can practically hear the trumpets blaring. And lo, let us not forget the July Federal Reserve meeting, just two weeks away—what fun!

Economic Escapades: July 14 to 18

This Tuesday, the June Consumer Price Index (CPI) report shall dance onto the stage—one of the two nifty measures of inflation that keeps everyone on their toes! Prices, oh dear, they reflect trends and shape the very way folks spend their shiny pennies!

Expectations are buzzing that June’s CPI will hop up around 0.23% to 0.25%—that’s a sprightly leap, especially with those pesky tariff pressures making the rounds. Energy and select goods are ready to party!

But hold on, there’s more! Wednesday will unveil June’s Producer Price Index (PPI)—the costs that manufacturers encounter, which, in turn, affect what you see in the shops, and the panic sets in. 🎭

And don’t forget Thursday! Our trusty Retail Sales report will stroll in, revealing just how much our beloved consumers are spending on both durable and non-durable goodies. It’s like a crystal ball for economic health!

Key Whimsical Events This Week:

  • Markets Respond to Tariffs – Monday
  • June CPI Inflation Data Showdown – Tuesday
  • June PPI Inflation Data Extravaganza – Wednesday
  • Retail Sales Report Revelry – Thursday
  • July MI Consumer Sentiment Reports Galore – Friday
  • A Whole String of Fed Speaker Shenanigans This Week!

— The Kobeissi Letter (@KobeissiLetter) July 13, 2025

By Friday, we shall peek into the magical world of the July Michigan Consumer Sentiment Index and Inflation Expectations reports—where our curious citizens weigh in on their confidence level and long-term inflation dreams!

“Investors seem to be relaxing like a cat on a sunny windowsill,” quipped Thierry Wizman, the sage of Macquarie Group. “It’s not as if they’ve shifted to the land of unicorns and rainbows when it comes to inflation, but they’re definitely less worried than a dog in a thunderstorm!”

And as if that weren’t enough spice for your week, big banks are ready to strut their stuff and kick off earnings season! Keep an eye out for the likes of JPMorgan Chase, Wells Fargo, Morgan Stanley, and Goldman Sachs, all of whom shall fling open their doors this week!

Crypto Market Shenanigans

On a bright and cheerful Monday morning, total capitalization cheekily bumped up to $3.8 trillion—an all-time high since our last grand adventure in mid-January!

Fueled by the daring Bitcoin, which decided to leap 1.7% higher, reaching a daring new height of $119,750 during the morning’s Asian escapade. How grand!

And lo, Ethereum decided it was ready to reclaim its throne at $3,000 while the altcoins joined in on the revelry, with Stellar and Hedera soaring over 20% as if they were taking flight on little fluffy clouds! 🐩

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2025-07-14 07:56