The venture capital arm of America’s crypto colossus, Coinbase, has unveiled its grand plan to splash cash on real-world asset trading, decentralized finance, and artificial intelligence in 2026. Because, why not? The future is already a circus; let’s add some blockchain clowns. 🎪
In a blog post dripping with ambition, Coinbase Ventures declared its thirst for investing in teams dabbling in asset tokenization, arcane exchanges, trading terminals straight out of sci-fi, next-gen DeFi, and AI advancements that might just take over the world. Or your toaster. Who knows? 🤖
“We’re chasing the next unicorns,” the firm proclaimed, presumably with a straight face. Coinbase Ventures has made 618 investments since 2018, amassing a portfolio of 422 startups. Its latest ventures include a DeFi compliance platform named 0xbow (cue archery puns), payment infrastructure firms Zynk and ZAR, and prediction markets platform Kalshi. Because predicting the future is just another Tuesday for them.
In a thread on X, Kinji Steimetz of Coinbase Ventures waxed poetic about perpetual futures contracts, a concept so abstract it might as well be a Dali painting. He also heralded the rise of “prop-AMMs” – proprietary automated market makers designed to protect liquidity providers from rogue traders and bots. Because even in crypto, villains need thwarting. 🦹
Jonathan King, another Coinbase investor, predicted the rise of prediction market aggregators, which he believes will consolidate $600 million in fragmented liquidity. Because nothing screams innovation like squeezing chaos into a neat little box. 📦
Next-Gen DeFi: Because the Old Gen Was Too Boring
Ethan Oak, a Coinbase Ventures investor, envisions a future where perpetual futures exchanges integrate with DeFi protocols like lending, allowing traders to earn yields while maintaining leveraged positions. Because why settle for one financial headache when you can have two? 🤯
Oak also foresees a surge in onchain privacy-preserving tools, noting a “surge of developer energy” around assets like Zcash. Meanwhile, King predicts DeFi protocols blending onchain reputation with offchain data, enabling unsecured borrowing at scale. Because trust is overrated, apparently. 🤷♂️
“The US alone has $1.3 trillion in revolving, unsecured credit lines that crypto can capture through superior capital efficiency and global accessibility,” King said, probably while sipping his third espresso. ☕
Agentic AI, DePIN, and Proof of Humanity: Because the Robots Are Coming
The AI sector also got its share of Coinbase’s crystal ball gazing. Steimetz highlighted a gap in training robotic and embodied AI systems, suggesting decentralized physical infrastructure networks (DePIN) as a solution. Because if robots are going to take over, they might as well be well-trained. 🤖
Hoolie Tejwani, head of Coinbase Ventures, predicted growth in “proof of humanity” solutions, combining biometrics and cryptography to verify human content. Because in 2026, proving you’re not a bot might be harder than proving you’re sane. 🧠
King concluded with a vision of AI agent tooling enabling non-technical founders to launch onchain businesses swiftly. “2026 might see AI agents democratize onchain building,” he said, probably while drafting his resignation letter in case the bots get too uppity. 🤖✍️
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2025-11-26 09:14