In a scene that would have tickled even the most drowsy observer of Washington farce, Strategy’s co-founder Michael Saylor, Marathon Digital Holdings’ indefatigable CEO Fred Thiel, and an assorted gallery of crypto apostles have gathered on Capitol Hill, all aflutter with visions of a U.S. strategic bitcoin reserve-because, naturally, what our nation’s treasury truly needs is a hoard of virtual gold bits. 🙃
Roundtable Scheduled with Lawmakers
This Tuesday morning’s spectacle, hosted by Sen. Cynthia Lummis and Rep. Nick Begich-Republican champions of the BITCOIN Act-promises a full cast of crypto aristocrats: Strategy’s own Saylor, Fundstrat’s oracle Tom Lee, Cardano’s illustrious Charles Hoskinson, Bitdeer’s harbinger Haris Basit, Riot’s wrangler Brian Morgenstern, and Cleanspark’s commander Matt Schultz. If this were a novel, one might call it a veritable League of Extraordinary Cryptos.
Convened by The Digital Chamber and its obscure but evidently ambitious affiliate, the Digital Power Network (DPN), the gathering’s chief aim was pithily summarized by Hailey Miller, DPN’s director of government relations and public policy-someone must have told her to keep it simple:
“The focus will be on ensuring the Strategic Bitcoin Reserve is advanced in a budget-neutral way and building the coalition needed to move the BITCOIN Act forward.”
The Bill’s Foundation and Scope
The BITCOIN Act (for those curious, an acronym of gobbledegook officially known as the “Boosting Innovation, Technology, and Competitiveness through Optimized Investment Nationwide Act”) was reintroduced by Senator Lummis in March. It follows in the grand tradition of executive orders signed by one Donald Trump, mandating that any bitcoin (and assorted digital hocus-pocus) seized in legal proceedings be stored in a permanent government fund-because nothing says prudent fiscal policy quite like stashing your cryptographic eggs in one digital basket.
This legislation, not content with mere custody, instructs the Federal Reserve and Treasury to purchase one million bitcoins, insisting-rather charmingly-that such a purchase won’t cost taxpayers a dime. The proposed means of financing include such dashing innovations as reassessing Treasury gold certificates and raiding tariff revenues. One presumes the taxpayers will be conveniently napping during all of this.
Key Goals for Today’s Meeting
The assembled executives plan to prod lawmakers about why, despite half a year of effort, the BITCOIN Act has not yet stormed the gates of legislative triumph. They intend also to portray Bitcoin as a bipartisan panacea-crucial for national security and American economic supremacy-a pitch surely met with enlightened yawns on all sides.
Ms. Miller once again lent her voice to the chorus of urgency:
“There is a lot that’s been done in the digital asset space these last couple of months, and there are a whole lot more items on the agenda. Our real push is to ensure that the BITCOIN Act and a strategic bitcoin reserve remain a priority.”
Political Landscape and Next Steps
As it stands, the bill enjoys support only from Republican lawmakers-a party perhaps more agreeable to this particular treasure hunt-while Democrats remain conspicuously absent. For the BITCOIN Act to advance beyond the whispered urgings of crypto enthusiasts, it must pass through the august, and possibly sleep-inducing, hearings of the House Financial Services and Senate Banking Committees, though no appointments have yet been etched into the calendar’s stony face.
In an attempt to seduce bipartisanship, DPN plans to circulate a briefing framing the act as a “bipartisan opportunity,” a rather optimistic spin considering present realities. Should today’s roundtable succeed, it may coax a broader alliance into existence, perhaps akin to herding cats wearing digital wallets.
In the grand theatre of Washington, this gathering might well represent the prologue to the BITCOIN Act’s next act-the crucial question being whether enthusiasm and rhetoric can awaken an otherwise indifferent Congress to the siren song of the strategic bitcoin reserve. One watches with weary amusement as the spectacle unfolds. 🎩
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2025-09-16 17:44