Hark! Attend ye, gentlefolk, to the pronouncements of one Ray Dalio, a man possessed of more coin than common sense might allow. He doth claim a most prodigious investment tale escapes the notice of the huddled masses-and, pray tell, ’tis not these fashionable automatons of Artifice, nor these shares, so beloved of speculators!
This Dalio, founder of an establishment known as Bridgewater Associates (a name, methinks, designed to inspire confidence, though in what, I cannot fathom), declares that the true drama of the past year lay in the lamentable decline of these ‘fiat currencies’, as he calls them – little more than fancy paper, if you ask me – and the sluggish performance of our American stocks when held against the glittering allure of gold and foreign ventures.
“Verily,” he doth lament, “while the multitudes gaze adoringly upon these American shares, and, in particular, these ‘AI’ contraptions, believing them the pinnacle of investment sagacity, it is an unassailable truth that the greatest fortunes were won not there, but elsewhere! Observe, if you will:”
- Gold, the very stuff of kings and misers, yielded returns that would make a merchant prince blush!
- Foreign stocks, those exotic blossoms of distant markets, showed a vigor lacking in our own, rather… tired economy.
Indeed, this Dalio doth point out that gold soared like an eagle, while our own S&P 500 merely ambled along. “The finest investment,” quoth he, “was a long position in gold (returning a wondrous 65% when reckoned in our devalued dollars!), outpacing the S&P by a staggering 47%! Or, to put it another way, the S&P has fallen by an alarming 28% when valued in gold – a most unsettling thought, wouldn’t you agree? 😩”
He continues, with a rather smug air, “When one’s very coinage becomes lighter in the purse, all things appear to grow dearer! To gauge returns through the clouded lens of a weakening currency is to see illusions, not realities!” Oh, the cleverness! 🙄
Furthermore, he observes that stocks beyond our shores prospered – prospered, I say! – by a considerable margin, as a veritable flood of wealth deserted these American markets. “While our American shares maintained a semblance of strength in our feeble dollars, they paled in comparison to the flourishing gardens of other lands. Investors, it appears, would have been far wiser to cast their lots elsewhere-in the bonds and coffers of foreign realms, and even their simple cash! Specifically, European stocks excelled over ours by 23%, those cunning Chinese shares by 21%, the British by 19%, and the Japanese by 10%… It is a grand reshuffling of fortunes, a rebalancing of the scales, and I suspect this current whimsy shall only worsen!”
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2026-01-08 11:22