Ethereum ETFs: A Tale of Woe and Wallets Weeping 😭💸

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Ah, the grand theater of finance! Behold, the US-based Ethereum ETFs, once the darlings of the crypto ball, now stumble like a drunken bureaucrat in a Gogol novella. Their performance, once as dazzling as a mirage in the steppe, has turned as gloomy as a St. Petersburg winter. September, that fickle mistress, has dealt them a blow crueler than a nose vanishing from a portrait!

The market, that capricious beast, now writhes in uncertainty, its investors as indecisive as a hero in a Gogol tale. ETH, poor soul, moves with the sluggishness of a government clerk mired in red tape. And lo, the Ethereum ETFs, once flush with capital, now weep bitter tears of outflow-a record-breaking $787.74 million vanished into the ether! 🌪️💰

A Week of Woe: $446M Flees the Crypto Ark

The numbers, they scream louder than a Gogol protagonist in despair! On the fateful Friday of September 5, a staggering $446.7 million fled the ETFs, as if chased by the ghost of a missed deadline. BlackRock’s iShares Ethereum Trust (ETHA), once a titan, bled $309.88 million-a wound deeper than a bureaucrat’s pride. Grayscale’s Ethereum Trust (ETHE) followed, shedding $51.7 million, its dignity in tatters.

Fidelity Ethereum Fund (FETH) and Grayscale’s Ethereum Mini Trust (ETH) joined the lament, losing $37.7 million and $32.62 million, respectively. Even the modest 21Shares Ethereum ETF (TETH) could not escape, parting with $14.68 million. Five days of outflows, not a single inflow-September has been crueler than a Gogol satire! 😱📉

Ethereum ETFs Outflow Chart

Friday’s $450-million exodus pushed the weekly total to nearly $790 million-a record so grim, it could only be penned by Gogol himself. The crypto world, once a carnival of hope, now resembles a bureaucratic nightmare, complete with lost funds and shattered dreams.

Ethereum Price: A Tragedy Below $4,500

Recall, dear reader, when Ethereum flirted with $5,000, its spirit as high as a Gogol protagonist’s delusions. But alas, the bears have descended, dragging the price below $4,500. The ETFs, poor things, mirror this sorrow, their performance as sluggish as a Russian winter sled.

As we scribble these words, Ethereum lingers at $4,276, down 1% in 24 hours-a decline as inevitable as a Gogol character’s downfall. CoinGecko whispers that the altcoin has fallen 2% in seven days, a tragedy worthy of a Gogol epilogue. 🦹‍♂️💔

Ethereum Price Chart

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2025-09-07 19:23