Ether’s Bloom: ‘90s Tech Stock or Crypto’s Latest Flirt? 🚀

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Imagine, if you will, the stately dance of Ether — that digital darling of the blockchain— twirling its way through the financial ballrooms, culminating in aJuly finale of such exuberance that even the most stoic brokers blinked in disbelief. Yes, Ether has just dazzled us all with its finest monthly performance in a seemingly eternal trilogy of dull, dreary months— a triumphant 56% leap, teasing the ghosts of ’90s tech stocks, all while investors tiptoe around the ‘ETF’ buzz like cats near a freshly opened can of sardines.

Currently, ETH pirouettes at a stratospheric $3,862, a commendable ascent from its July 1 opening blush of $2,468, as chronicled by that reliable oracle, CoinGecko. Apparently, the summer of ’23 has decided to baffle skeptics and rekindle aspirations of old Silicon Valley grandeur, or perhaps just buttering bread for crypto’s breadwinner – the investors.

Since July 2022— a distant universe where ETH surged 56.62%— this is the first grand return of such magnitude, as documented by CoinGlass, making it the first time in a year the digital asset has flirted with fifty percent or more in a single moon’s span. Truly, a moment to dab the brow and marvel.

Enter Eric Balchunas, Bloomberg’s sage of ETF lore, who contends that ETH’s recent glow is no mere coincidence but a glorious net inflow, akin to the rush of wedding guests to a spectacle of Hilton-sized proportions. His zinger? “Ether starting to look like ’90s tech stock as ETFs catch fire.” One could almost hear the nostalgic chimes of dial-up internet amid the digital din.

In perhaps an even more amusing twist, Ether has been in a 19-day orgy of net inflows— the longest in history— pouring in over $5.37 billion between July 3 and 30— a veritable waterfall of cash that would make even the most hardened banker smirk. The crown jewel, July 16, saw nearly $727 million trudging into the crypto coffers, like teenagers flocking to a pop star’s concert.

Meanwhile, BlackRock’s iShares Ethereum ETF sashayed past the $10 billion milestone in a record-shattering 251 days— a feat so swift it sparks envy among those still grappling with slower, less glamorous investments. And, fabulously, for six days straight this July, Ether net inflows outshone Bitcoin’s— a switcheroo that might cause a chuckle or two among Bitcoin bois, whispering about ‘alt season’ before breakfast.

Ethereum’s Party Poopers: Activity vs. Price

But hold the applause. For all the champagne, some voices, like that of Markus Thielen, CEO of 10x Research, yawn at the apparent low tide of activity beneath the glitzy surface. “Low revenue. No real growth,” he murmurs, rubbing his temple as he examines Ethereum’s tepid 5% activity bump and a 3% revenue uptick— as if the network is showing up for the party but refusing to dance.

Thielen nostalgically recalls November 2021, when Ethereum spun out a staggering $1.5 billion in monthly revenue, making its proponents dream of a 6% annual yield— quite attractive, indeed, to the stodgiest of institutional investors. Today, with a market cap of $466 billion but only $764 million in yearly revenue, Ethereum’s story reads more like a soap opera— full of glitz, but lacking the substance to match.

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2025-07-31 10:35