Oh, great. Goldman Sachs has decided Coinbase is suddenly worth buying again. 🙄 Shares shot up 8% on Monday because, apparently, Wall Street analysts have the memory of a goldfish. Just last year, they couldn’t decide if COIN was a “sell” or “neutral”-now it’s a full-blown “buy.” Classic.

Some guy named Matthew Sigel at VanEck says Goldman has “selective optimism.” Oh, selective optimism-that’s when you’re optimistic… but only sometimes? Deep stuff.

Goldman’s been waffling on Coinbase since 2022-first it’s a “sell,” then “neutral,” now “buy.” Next week? Probably “eh, maybe.” They’ve also bumped their price target to $303, because $294 just wasn’t arbitrary enough.

Right now, COIN’s sitting at $254.92-up nearly 8% in a day and 11% this year. So, congrats if you bought before Goldman remembered crypto exists.

Analyst James Yaro says Coinbase has “strong growth potential” because they’re working on things beyond trading. Wow. Infrastructure? Who saw that coming? (Everyone.)

Goldman’s also “optimistic” about crypto in general-because nothing screams “trust us” like a bank that changes its mind every six months.

“Our base case includes further crypto regulatory reform,” Yaro said. Translation: “We’re hoping the government doesn’t ruin this for us.”

Coinbase: Now With More Stuff™

Coinbase’s big plan? Be the “everything exchange.” Because why stop at crypto when you can also lose money on stocks, ETFs, and-wait for it-prediction markets? 🎯

Last month, they added Kalshi (regulated gambling, basically) and rolled out commission-free stock trading. Because nothing says “trustworthy” like a crypto exchange dabbling in Wall Street.

Oh, and they’re expanding in Asia and the Middle East-because if there’s one thing those regions need, it’s more American crypto bros.

2025 was a “breakout year” for Coinbase-revenue up 25% quarter-over-quarter, 55% year-over-year. But Q4? Analysts expect earnings to drop. Shocking, given crypto’s been performing like a soggy sandwich since October.

Goldman Sachs loves Coinbase today. Ask again tomorrow. 🤦‍♂️

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2026-01-06 11:06