Hedera (HBAR) Soars 8%: Magic, Meme Coins & Mysterious Forces?

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Hedera Hashgraph, that most enterprising of cryptocurrencies, has decided to play a game of “leap before the net appears” with an 8% daily rally. At the time of writing, it’s trading at $0.275, with a market cap of $11.75 billion—because nothing says “stability” like a number that rounds up *just* as the ground shakes. 🐉

The sudden surge? A confluence of events so dramatic it makes a Discworld weather witch weep into her teacup. The Hedera Foundation recently announced that AUDD, a stablecoin “backed” by the Australian Dollar (whatever that means in crypto-speak), has been selected for the Reserve Bank of Australia’s “Project Acacia.” One can only assume this involves acacia trees, blockchain, and a very confused koala. 🌱

AUDD, the Australian Digital Dollar stablecoin on @Hedera, selected by Hedera Council member AP+ to be used in @RBAInfo’s “Project Acacia” 🇦🇺

— Hedera Foundation (@HederaFndn) July 31, 2025

Meanwhile, whispers suggest HBAR was mentioned in a recent White House Crypto Policy report. Whether this means it’s now the official cryptocurrency of American breakfast food remains unconfirmed. 🥓

HEDERA $HBAR MENTIONED IN WHITE HOUSE CRYPTO POLICY REPORT

— The Wolf Of All Streets (@scottmelker) July 30, 2025

HBAR’s recent listing on Robinhood on July 25 has also proven that humans will click “buy” if given the faintest hint of opportunity. Trading volume surged 50% in a day, reaching $648 million—a figure so large it could buy a small island… if the island accepted crypto and wasn’t already owned by a billionaire with a yacht. 🏝️

The token’s “strong fundamentals” (a phrase as vague as a wizard’s prophecy) are now being touted as a “top penny crypto with 1000x potential.” For context, that would make HBAR worth $275—enough to buy a used bicycle and a very expensive cup of coffee. ☕

$HBAR | @hedera 📈

The price surge after the Robinhood listing has definitely helped the price structure.

✅ Double bottom last month✅ Another higher high , higher low structure✅ Price target still not reached ( $0.32 )

As Altcoins gain momentum again, $HBAR is set to hit…

— OCT Trades (@oct_trades) July 31, 2025

Will HBAR Keep Rising? Or Will It Just Fall Into a Bottomless Pit?

The daily chart suggests HBAR is forming a “bullish flag pattern”—a technical term meaning “look at this tiny red flag, it’s a miracle!” If it holds, the price could continue upward. In the past month, it’s gained 85%, which is impressive until you realize it’s still 50% below its December highs. A true crypto phoenix would have turned into gold by now. 🔥

The RSI is currently in “strong buying pressure” territory, which sounds exciting until you remember that RSI stands for “Relative Strength Index” (not “Run, Squirrel, Immediately”). If it crosses above 67.31, expect more hype than a Discworld wizard’s birthday party. 🎉

HBAR Price chart with RSI and Bollinger Bands | Source: Trading View

Bollinger Bands are expanding like a wizard’s hat in a hurricane, with the price reclaiming the middle band at $0.257. Resistance lies at $0.30, but if HBAR breaks through, it’ll be climbing toward $0.45 like a knight charging a dragon. 🐉

Snorter Bot ($SNORT): The Meme Coin That Thinks It’s a Stock Broker

As HBAR soars, Snorter Bot ($SNORT) is busy trying to out-meme the meme coins. This Telegram-native crypto assistant claims to blend “meme coin hype with practical on-chain trading capabilities”—a contradiction as smooth as a witch’s lie. 🧙

Snorter Bot lets users identify tokens, execute swaps, and manage wallets in Telegram. Initially built on Solana (because fast transactions and low fees are clearly the future), it plans to expand to other EVM-compatible networks. If it succeeds, it’ll be the first project to unite blockchain and tachyons… or just run out of funding. 💸

$SNORT Token Use Cases

The $SNORT token powers Snorter’s platform, offering access to “exclusive tools and premium features.” With a 500 million token cap, it’s a gamble that could either make you rich or teach you the meaning of “volatility.” 🪙

Built on Solana, Snorter promises “fast execution” and “secure swaps,” which sounds trustworthy until you realize it’s being sold via a presale. Presumably, this is how you get a “pre-sale” of a product that doesn’t exist yet. 🚀

Presale Snapshot:

  • Token Price: $0.0999 (because 10 cents is too round a number)
  • Total Raised: $2.63 Million (enough to buy 26,300 very expensive lattes)
  • Ticker: $SNORT (yes, it’s named after a dog)
  • Operating Network: Solana (the network that thinks it’s faster than your broadband)

Snorter Bot is now the go-to platform for traders who want to trade memes while pretending they’re investing in the future. Or, as one might say in the Discworld: “It’s all a bit of a con, but what isn’t?” 🤷

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2025-07-31 17:55