How Strategy’s Bitcoin Bonanza Turned Into a $2.5 Billion Circus! 🎪

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In a feat that would make even the most seasoned tightrope walker clutch their heart, Michael Saylor’s grand circus — erm, I mean, Strategy — has just acquired a whopping 21,021 Bitcoin. This delightful acquisition came after they waved their magic wand and conjured up $2.5 billion from the fourth show of their preferred stock, or STRC, as the cool kids call it. It appears to be the largest US initial public offering of 2025, which is a fancy way of saying they’re here to plunder… I mean, invest.

Now, dear reader, while other mere mortals might have bought their Bitcoin at a local grocery store, Strategy plumped down an average price of $117,256 per coin. Yes, you read that correctly. Their total treasure chest now brims with 628,791 BTC, which is an impressive haul even for the most ambitious of dragons.

In a plot twist worthy of a bestselling fantasy novel, this company, once known as MicroStrategy (because who wouldn’t want an identity crisis?), raised its billions by selling 28 million shares of Variable Rate Series A Perpetual Preferred Stock at the unbelievable sale price of $90 each. Originally, they only wanted to scrape together $500 million. But not to worry, they managed to more than double it. Perhaps some fairy dust helped?

In their most recent plotline, Strategy has crafted a clever little plan involving financial products to become Bitcoin enthusiasts masquerading as Wall Street wolves. They’ve used everything from equity to convertible notes, and it appears they’ve subtly encouraged 160 publicly traded companies to include the fine art of cryptocurrency on their balance sheets. Because why not turn the whole thing into a riveting game of financial Russian roulette?

STRC Takes a Stroll to Nasdaq

And if that wasn’t enough to dazzle you, Strategy has proclaimed that STRC is gearing up to start trading on the illustrious Nasdaq this Wednesday! It’s the first US exchange-listed perpetual preferred security boondoggle issued by a Bitcoin treasury company, promising income-focused investors some monthly, board-adjusted dividends. Sounds delightful, doesn’t it?

STRC is merely the latest in a whimsical saga of perpetual preferred offerings concocted to finance their Bitcoin escapades. Others in this wildly creative lineup include Strike (STRK), which graciously offers an 8% fixed dividend; Strife (STRF), a non-convertible one that yields 10% cumulative, and then there’s Stride (STRD), which, cunningly enough, pays a 10% non-cumulative dividend. They must have a staff of wizards coming up with these names!

MSTR Takes a Nap After the Bell

Now, the fairytales don’t always end with joyful celebrations. Shares in Strategy (MSTR) wrapped up their day’s trading by slightly tripping over themselves, slipping down 2.26%. After the closing bell, they managed to crawl back up by 0.52% to $396.7. Quite the dramatic soirée, if I do say so!

As MSTR stands tall with a 31.55% gain this year — which sounds more like a leisurely stroll compared to the robust 358.55% leap last year — anticipation fills the air as they prepare for their second-quarter earnings report on Thursday. One can only wonder how their capital escapades and Bitcoin quests affected their enchanted balance sheet by June 30. We wait with bated breath!

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2025-07-30 03:25