In a riveting episode of “Politicians vs. Pokemon Go” – er, crypto – Illinois Governor JB Pritzker decided to play the hero. Because nothing screams leadership like taking a swipe at Donald Trump for *letting* the “crypto bros” run wild while signing two new bills to tame the wild west of digital currency. 🪙🚀
“While the Trump Administration is letting crypto bros write federal policy,” Pritzker announced with all the gravitas of someone who just read the spell book, “Illinois is rolling out common-sense protections for investors and consumers.” Because apparently, *common sense* isn’t just for middle school debate tournaments anymore.
Since the November elections, it’s been a crypto-divide – some states like Texas and Arizona are throwing money into the blockchain bonfire, while Illinois is saying, “Hold my beer,” and tightening regulations faster than you can say “blockchain.” The first bill, the Digital Assets and Consumer Protection Act (SB 1797), is basically Illinois’ version of “Don’t scam granny.” It gives the Illinois Department of Financial and Professional Regulation a shiny new badge to oversee the digital Wild West. 🛡️
It mandates crypto companies keep enough cash, stay cyber-safe, avoid scams, spill all their investment beans, and be as customer friendly as your favorite coffee shop – minus the snarky barista. “At a time when fraudsters are evolving faster than TikTok dances,” Pritzker added, “Illinois isn’t about to let that happen on our watch.”
Crypto ATMs get a bossy makeover
Next up: The Digital Asset Kiosk Act (SB 2319). Because nothing screams regulatory slapstick like forcing ATM operators to register, refund scammers, cap fees (at 18%, because that’s *fair*), and limit daily transactions to $2,500 – perfect for when you’re just trying to buy a bag of chips, not a spaceship. 🕹️
“Illinois residents deserve safeguards, no matter where they park their digital dollars,” said Rep. Edgar Gonzalez Jr., probably sipping coffee while dreaming of his next regulation idea.
Meanwhile, the FBI reports Illinois lost a cool $272 million to crypto scams in 2024 – making it the fifth most-scammed state, which, honestly, is a *lot* when you consider how many people are just trying to buy a latte.
Trump’s crypto tirade continues – more drama, less blockchain
In classic Trump fashion, the office fired shots, claiming his administration was on a “deregulation spree” that left consumers vulnerable. Because nothing says ‘protect the people’ like deregulating and then blaming the other guy for all the scams.
They even kicked the IRS rule change-overturned in April-out of the picture, which was basically Trump’s way of saying “Blockchain, what’s that?” and ripping up the rulebook.
Illinois’ Bitcoin dreams crumble like a stale cookie
When it came to actually investing in Bitcoin (BTC), Illinois was all about it – until it wasn’t. House Bill 1844, proposing a Bitcoin reserve for the state treasury, was shot down faster than a bad date. Because, apparently, Illinois doesn’t want to put its money where its mouth is, or maybe it just fears the crypto rollercoaster.
So, no Bitcoin for Illinois – at least for now. But hey, maybe next year, they’ll get bold enough to put a Bitcoin ATM in every state Capitol. 🤪
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2025-08-19 06:13