Illinois Governor Takes a Swing at Trump’s Crypto Bros – You Won’t Believe What Happens Next! 😂

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So, picture this: Illinois Governor JB Pritzker, in a moment of sheer brilliance, decides to sign two shiny new laws on a Monday. Because, you know, who doesn’t love a little regulatory fun on a dreary weekday? And while he’s at it, he throws some serious shade at President Trump for letting the “crypto bros” run wild with federal policy. I mean, can we get a round of applause for that? 👏

“While the Trump Administration is letting crypto bros write federal policy,” Pritzker quips, “Illinois is implementing common-sense protections for investors and consumers.” Because nothing says “I care” like a good ol’ legislative smackdown, right?

While Trump lets crypto bros write federal policy, Illinois is implementing common-sense protections for investors and consumers.

Today, I’ve signed into law first-of-their-kind safeguards in the Midwest for cryptocurrency and other digital assets.

We won’t tolerate fraudsters.

– Governor JB Pritzker (@GovPritzker) August 18, 2025

Now, let’s talk about these “crypto bros.” You know the type: young, brash, and convinced that their latest meme coin is going to make them millionaires overnight. They’re like the overzealous kids at a lemonade stand, but instead of lemonade, it’s all about digital currencies and questionable investment strategies. 🍋💸

New Rules for Crypto Exchanges

First up, we have the Digital Assets and Consumer Protection Act (SB 1797). This little gem gives the Illinois Department of Financial and Professional Regulation the power to reign in those wild crypto exchanges. Think of it as putting a leash on a hyperactive puppy. 🐶

These companies now have to keep enough reserves, beef up their cybersecurity, fight off fraudsters, and actually tell you what’s going on-like banks do. Shocking, I know!

Limits on Bitcoin ATMs

Next, we have the Digital Asset Kiosk Act (SB 2319). This one’s all about those Bitcoin ATMs that pop up like mushrooms after a rainstorm. Operators now need to register with the state, reimburse scam victims (because, you know, that’s a thing), cap fees at 18%, and limit new users to a measly $2,500 daily transactions. Because who needs financial freedom when you can have regulations? 🙄

Illinois, the cautious Democratic state, is taking a slow and steady approach while Republican states like Texas and Arizona are off to the crypto races. Fun fact: Illinois ranked fifth in the nation for crypto fraud losses in 2024, with residents losing a staggering $272 million. Ouch! 😱

Earlier this year, lawmakers even said “no thanks” to a bill proposing a strategic Bitcoin reserve for the state treasury. Because why treat the world’s biggest cryptocurrency like a real investment when you can just keep it at arm’s length?

So, there you have it! Illinois is all about consumer safety over the wild ride of fast crypto growth. Who knew regulations could be this entertaining? 🎉

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2025-08-19 09:53