Ah, the grand old duke of crypto, IOTA, is throwing a party for its 10th birthday, and what a bash it is! 🎉 Not content with just cake and balloons, it’s decided to waltz into the U.S. with all the grace of a troll in a tutu. And who’s its dance partner? None other than BitGo, the custodian with more regulations than a dwarf’s rulebook. 🕴️
BitGo, the trusty vault-keeper, is famous for babysitting over 1,550 digital tokens, ensuring they don’t run off to join the circus. 🎪 Now, IOTA gets to join this elite club, rubbing shoulders with the big boys under the watchful eye of Uncle Sam’s rules. 🦅
This partnership is like giving IOTA a golden ticket to the institutional investors’ tea party, where everyone sips regulation-compliant tea and talks tax constraints. ☕️ Exchanges and market makers can now offer IOTA in a secure, regulated environment-because nothing says “fun” like a straitjacket of rules. 🤹♂️
But wait, there’s more! BitGo isn’t just a babysitter; it’s a jack-of-all-trades, offering trading, lending, borrowing, and even programmable money solutions. It’s like a Swiss Army knife, but for crypto. 🛠️
Uphold Listing: IOTA Goes Retail! 🛍️
Not to be outdone, IOTA has also strutted onto Uphold, the digital trading platform, where U.S. customers can now buy, sell, and use it. 🇺🇸 Finally, American traders can join the IOTA party-though whether they’ll stay for the whole dance is anyone’s guess. 💃
With both institutional and retail doors now open, IOTA is hoping to be the belle of the ball. But will it waltz or wobble? Only time will tell. ⏳
Struggling Project: IOTA’s Midlife Crisis? 😢
Ah, but here’s the rub. IOTA’s grand ambitions have so far been about as successful as a wizard trying to fly on a broomstick with a broken wing. 🧙♂️ The rollout of Rebased, with its shiny new features like smart contracts and staking, was supposed to be the savior. But by mid-2025, the dApp developers were as scarce as a honest politician, and the total value locked (TVL) was about as impressive as a wet firework. 🎆
Low usage? Check. Developer inactivity? Double check. Network utility? About as useful as a chocolate teapot. 🍫☕️ Will this OG altcoin find its mojo, or will it end up as a footnote in the annals of crypto history? Stay tuned, folks-this drama has more twists than a mountain road. 🚗
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2025-12-05 18:11