Last Exit Before Doom: Samson Mow Says ETH Is a Gulag at 0.03 BTC 🫠

by

Attention comrades of the digital kolkhoz! The loudspeaker crackles once more, and the voice booming from the loudspeaker is none other than Samson Mow, self-appointed commissar of the Bitcoin Politburo. He waves the red flag of urgency: “Sell your ETH now, above 0.03 BTC, or spend the rest of your days in the camp of regret!”

Why this sudden urgency, you ask? Because, dear zeks of Ethereum, a 768,400-ETH herd-$3.5 billion of misallocated hope-is queued at the gates of the unstaking Gulag. The validator queue alone is a two-week frostbite, followed by a nine-day “sweep delay,” which in plain Gulag tongue means: big door in, tiny mouse-hole out.

“This is your last chance to sell ETH above 0.03 BTC,” he scribbles from his warm office, while the rest of us shuffle in the snow. “After you wait… and wait… and wait… the price may have already frozen to death.”

He then reminds us, with the smugness of a camp cook ladling thin soup, that ETH/BTC rarely climbs above this magic 0.03. The implication? You are watching the sun rise through barbed wire-beautiful, unreachable, and gone by the time you reach the fence.

$3.5 Billion ETH Set to Hit the Market

Picture the scene: three and a half billion dollars of Ether, blinking like frost-bitten prisoners suddenly told they are “free.” Except freedom takes fifteen days of bureaucracy-more than enough time for the market to carve you into cutlets. 😬

Mow vs. Ethereum: A Show Trial in 280 Characters

Comrade Mow’s indictment goes deeper than mere staking mechanics. He claims a rotating kabuki is underway: early insiders-those original ICO boyars-shuffle their Bitcoin into ETH, weaponize fresh slogans like “Ethereum Treasury,” pump the price, then dump the hot potato back into BTC. Retail investors? Left holding the steaming spud, now rebranded a “generational bag.” 🥔💸

Let me explain what’s happening with ETHBTC.

Most ETH holders have a lot of BTC (ICO/insiders) and they are rotating that BTC into ETH to pump it on new narratives (Ethereum Treasury co’s).

Once they’ve gotten it high enough, they’ll dump their ETH, creating new generational…
– Samson Mow (@Excellion) August 10, 2025

In other words, the same play performed in every five-year plan: insiders exit through the wide gate, the proletariat squeeze through the eye of a needle.

Bitcoin Narrative: The Unbreakable Steel of Siberia

While ETH prisoners queue for bread rations, Bitcoin marches in goose-stepping glory. Mow predicts $1 million BTC, driven by supply shock-the 21-million-coin limit now looking as immutable as permafrost. With the U.S. Treasury itself hoarding Sats like canned fish, and Metaplanet joining the hoarders’ club, the scarcity anthem swells louder than a gulag chorus at dawn.

Altcoins Under Pressure: The Ice Floe Cracks

Not content to flog only ETH, Mow swings his ice-pick at shitcoins in general. Wall Street, he sneers, is about to “learn the harsh realities” of tokens backed by little more than marketing slogans. Translation: the ice floe beneath alt-season is cracking; the polar bears of Bitcoin are circling. 🐻‍❄️

The Bottom Line: A Choice Between Two Prison Camps

So here we stand, dear reader, at the razor-wired fork in the digital taiga. To the left: the Ethereum camp, where hope is unstaked in slow motion. To the right: the Bitcoin zone, where scarcity is gospel and the guards promise million-dollar sunshine. Samson Mow has sounded the bugle; whether it is a call to liberation or merely another forced march is, as always, a question best answered by tomorrow’s block height. 😏

Read More

2025-08-16 13:14