What to know (or pretend to care about while sipping coffee ☕):
- Michael Saylor’s MSTR just scooped up 430 more bitcoins last week-because clearly, 629,000 weren’t enough. A casual $51.4 million spend, no big deal.
- Total holdings now sit at a whopping 629,376 coins, worth roughly $72 billion-or as I like to call it, “enough to buy several small countries, if any of them accepted crypto.”
Ah, MSTR-the company that treats bitcoin like Pokémon cards 📈. “Gotta catch ’em all,” whispers Michael Saylor while fumbling for his company credit card. Last week, they added another 430 coins at the bargain price of $119,666 each (because, you know, loose change).
With their average buy-in at a mere $73,320 per coin (😅), this $72 billion stash would make Scrooge McDuck jealous-if only Bitcoin could be stacked into a giant swimming pool. Sadly, bitcoin’s overnight dip to $115,000 means MSTR’s portfolio is now worth… well, a slightly smaller absurd amount.
Meanwhile, MSTR shares dipped a cozy 2.2% premarket and 10% over the week-history’s tiniest violin 🎻 is playing softly in the background. Year-to-date gains? Still up 20%. So, basically, business as usual in the rollercoaster world of crypto lunacy.
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2025-08-18 16:00