Nvidia’s Billions & Bitcoin’s Woes 😲

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A Most Peculiar Turn of Events

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a company in possession of a fortune must be in want of attention. And Nvidia, alas, has attracted a great deal of it, with its recent earnings report – a sum of fifty-seven billion dollars, if you please! – causing a ripple, nay, a veritable tremor, amongst the Bitcoin miners. One begins to suspect the ways of commerce are as mysterious as the human heart. 🙄

Concerning the Earnings of Nvidia

The esteemed chipmaker, Nvidia, has declared its revenues for the third quarter to be an astounding fifty-seven billion dollars. A sum so vast, it quite boggles the mind. They further predict an even more substantial bounty in the coming quarter, anticipating between sixty-three and sixty-six billion dollars. Wall Street, it seems, had dared to hope for a mere sixty-one and a half billion. Such impertinence! 🙌

And the CFO, a Madam Colette Kress, spoke of a “virtuous cycle of AI,” as if such a thing could truly exist! She claimed the AI ecosystem is “scaling fast-with more new foundation model makers, more AI startups, across more industries, and in more countries.” One wonders if she truly believes all this talk of “AI going everywhere, doing everything, all at once.” It sounds suspiciously like the pronouncements of charlatans peddling elixirs and potions. Though, I suppose, GPUs are the modern equivalent of such remedies. 🤪

The Miners and Their Newfound Ambitions

Now, these Bitcoin miners – companies like IREN and Cipher – they are a curious lot indeed. Once devoted solely to the extraction of these digital coins, they have begun to dabble in the realms of artificial intelligence and data centers, all dependent, naturally, on these powerful GPUs supplied by Nvidia. It is as if they have realized the fleeting nature of digital gold and sought a more…substantial foundation for their fortunes.

The Fortunes of IREN and Cipher

IREN, once a simple miner of Bitcoin, has now decided to rent out its facilities to those interested in this “AI.” They have even secured a contract with the mighty Microsoft, worth a staggering nine point seven billion dollars! Such sums are enough to make even a nobleman blush. Though, their stock price did experience a small dip after the initial excitement, falling from the heights of fifty dollars to a more modest forty-five and eighty-three cents. Still, a rise of over three hundred and sixty percent this year is not to be sneezed at, I assure you.

Cipher Mining, not to be outdone, has also entered this new venture, striking a ten-year agreement with a firm backed by Google. They are upgrading their facilities with the latest Nvidia technology, the H100 and Blackwell GPUs. Similarly, their stock experienced a similar dance of initial surge and subsequent retreat, yet still boasts a year-to-date gain of over two hundred and fifteen percent. It seems these miners are finding a new purpose, or perhaps merely a new way to chase their fortunes. 🤔

A Diminishing Return from the Digital Mines?

But let us not be carried away by these tales of prosperity. The very source of their initial wealth – Bitcoin mining – appears to be waning. The revenues of these miners have fallen dramatically, from one point six two billion in October to a mere eight hundred and fifty-one million in November. It would seem the interest in Bitcoin itself has not waned, but the fees and payments associated with it have diminished. A curious anomaly, indeed.

However, there is some hope to be found in the actions of nations such as Kazakhstan. They are updating their laws, striving towards a more open and regulated environment for these digital assets. A wise move, perhaps, to attract investment and innovation. Though, one can never truly trust governments, can one? 😈

And so, the tale unfolds. A story of fortunes made and lost, of ambition and innovation, and of a world grappling with the complexities of a new technological age. One can only sit back and observe, with a mixture of amusement and a touch of cynicism. For, as we all know, nothing truly lasts forever.

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2025-11-21 05:17