EURJPY

This week, the whispers turned to roars: XRP ETFs have sashayed past the $1 billion mark in Assets Under Management (AUM). Ordinary, you say? Think again. While Bitcoin and Ethereum ETFs lounge in their billions, XRP’s sprint to this milestone was a sprint indeed-a mere four weeks, no less! Garlinghouse, ever the raconteur, took to X (formerly Twitter, the modern-day salon) to proclaim XRP the Usain Bolt of crypto ETFs. 🏃💨 Institutional investors, those cautious patrons of the financial arts, couldn’t resist the allure, pouring in with the fervor of a Chekhovian crowd at a village fair.

Bitcoin decided to put on a show and briefly surged to around $94,500 – as if it was trying to outshine that boring old gold medalist. But, like any good drama, it fizzled out faster than your enthusiasm for Monday mornings. Ethereum (ETH) and a smattering of other popular altcoins? They didn’t just sit around; they went for the gold, bagging even more impressive gains in the last 24 hours. Talk about making the charts pop! 📈✨

In the latest bit of financial drama, the Abu Dhabi Global Market (ADGM) has graciously conferred upon Tether’s USDT the official title of “Accepted Fiat-Referenced Token,” enabling it to flaunt its versatility across various blockchain networks. These include, but are certainly not limited to, Aptos, Celo, Cosmos, Kaia, Near, Polkadot, Tezos, TON, and TRON. Just to clarify, this means licensed institutions in the region are now allowed to conduct regulated activities using USDT. Fancy that!

According to reports from Asia-Plus, Tajikistan’s parliament has, with all the drama of a Victorian melodrama, passed legislation that turns Bitcoin miners into potential inmates. The new law adds a sprightly Article to the Criminal Code, which now reads like a particularly stern letter from Auntie Agatha: “Thou shalt not pilfer electrons for thy crypto gains.”

This isn’t just a fling, folks. Institutional investors are sliding into XRP’s DMs, and it’s giving “mainstream adoption” vibes. 🤑 Who knew money could move so fast? Oh, right. XRP did. Hair flip. 💁‍♀️

The latest 40% rally has brought optimism back to the market, yet several underlying factors suggest ZEC may still struggle to complete a meaningful recovery. 🤷‍♀️

According to the number-crunchers at CryptoSlam (yes, that’s a real thing), NFT sales in November plummeted to a measly $320 million, down from a not-so-impressive $630 million in October. 📉 That’s roughly the same as September 2024, which, let’s be honest, feels like a lifetime ago in crypto years. And December? Oh, December. The first week saw a whopping $62 million in sales-the kind of number that makes you wonder if the whole thing was just a very expensive prank. 🤡💸

The U.S. banking sector is now the lead singer in crypto’s chaotic boy band-chasing fees and efficiency while ignoring the lyrics. Fitch says, “Your credit rating’s about to be reclassified as ‘questionable’ if you keep gambling with digital assets.” 🎭

Lo, the true drama lies not in the cut itself, but in Powell’s oratory-a performance that may yet unravel the threads of liquidity, rates, and the fragile tapestry of economic prophecy beyond 2025. Will he be the savior or the jester? Only time shall tell.

It seems on Tuesday, this subsidiary of theirs – a rather ambitious undertaking, one must say – received this… gift… from Kraken. The markets, naturally, are abuzz like a disturbed beehive. One hears whispers about their “Bitcoin-focused strategy” and “Nakamoto Holdings”… oh, the names these modern men invent! 🧐