EURJPY

In a social media post that surely woke the ghosts at the Federal Reserve, Trump accused Powell of orchestrating a renovation that cost three billion dollars. That’s enough to buy a small island or a surprisingly luxurious yacht-whichever you prefer, really. According to him, the supposed fix-up that was so *horribly managed* should’ve only set back the government fifty million, tops. Because who needs fiscal discipline when you have $3 billion to burn? 🏗️🔥

And just like a greedy squirrel hoarding nuts, Safety Shot squirreled away a shiny $25 million worth of $BONK-the giggling, bouncing token that’s spreading cheer and chaos-right into its treasure chest. Now, thanks to this trick, our shiny company is practically rubbing elbows with platform growth and token triumphs like a fancy aristocrat at a chocolate banquet.

Do Kwon, the fellow behind Terraform Labs, is considering throwing in the towel in a significant U.S. fraud case. You see, this case is all tangled up with the $40 billion collapse of the TerraUSD stablecoin back in 2022. It’s been quite the spectacle, I tell you, quite the spectacle. 🎪✨

Now, here’s the kicker: the stablecoin sector has been growing faster than a weed in a garden. According to DeFiLlama, in early 2024, it had a market cap of $130 billion, which has since more than doubled to a staggering $270 billion. Transak boasts that nearly 30% of its over $2 billion in processed transactions come from stablecoin flows. 🌊💰

The Shiba Inu, Ethereum’s most celebrated meme coin, continues its lamentable descent, its metrics as feeble as a poet’s resolve. 🥀 Data from the ever-watchful Shibburn reveals a burn rate that has dwindled to a mere whisper, dropping 72% on August 12 to a paltry 181,928 tokens-a sum so insignificant, it could scarcely buy a cup of coffee. ☕️ Historically, the SHIB price has danced to the tune of the burn rate; alas, this tune has turned into a dirge. 🎻

Bernstein’s Monday morning love letter to investors came just as ether (ETH) reached heights not seen since 2021, all thanks to a sudden bout of investor infatuation and a broader altcoin rally. And what kicked off this wild ride? Circle’s blockbuster IPO on June 5th, which reminded everyone that stablecoins, like shy teenagers, mostly hang out on Ethereum’s blockchains. Fancy that! 🎭

According to a court filing (because nothing says “fun” like legal documents), U.S. District Judge Paul A. Engelmayer in New York has scheduled a hearing for August 12, 2025. Mark your calendars, folks! 🎟️ The judge wants Kwon to spill the beans and explain exactly what he did if he pleads guilty. Spoiler alert: it probably involves more than just “accidentally” losing $40 billion. 😅

But here’s the kicker: the all-time high might be closer than your neighbor’s Wi-Fi password. Two factions-spot buyers and derivatives traders-are teaming up like Batman and Superman to push ETH into the stratosphere. Or maybe that’s just Ethereum’s way of saying, “I’ve got 99 problems, and gravity is one.”

Oh, SPX6900, you’re back at the breakout zone like a boomerang ex. After breaking out of a bullish cup and handle (fancy, darling!), it hit $2.28 in July, then dipped to $1.42-classic overthinker move. But fear not! It’s rebounded like a post-breakup glow-up, testing $1.77 again. The 20-day EMA says the party’s still on, but if it dips below, it’s a “we were on a break!” moment. 😬📉

And what a showing! Ether, that splendid glowing gemstone, has appreciated a staggering 45% in just a month-perhaps inspired by the same theatrical flair that made Oscar Wilde an icon. Clearly, Ether’s bullish signs aren’t just a whisper-they’re a full-blown symphony, turning heads faster than a cat in a laser pointer shop. 🐱🚀