EURJPY

Ah, the plot thickens. Enter President Trump with a stunning announcement: a 100% tariff on Chinese imports starting November 1, 2025. Cue global market chaos! The tariffs were a response to China’s export restrictions on rare earth minerals-materials that are, quite frankly, indispensable for anything from smartphones to electric vehicles. The crypto market crumbled faster than a badly made soufflé. Bitcoin dropped 13%, while Ethereum-oh dear-plummeted a whole 20%. And just when you thought it couldn’t get worse, $19 billion in leveraged positions were wiped out in just 24 hours. Take that, March 2020 COVID crash!

Ah, Bitcoin (BTC), that mischievous little imp, is back at the crossroads of destiny, practically licking its lips as it retests the golden cross-that jolly old ruse where the 50-day moving average slips above the 200-day like a fox in the henhouse. Historically, this signal has sparked major upheavals in the Bitcoin price, heralding extended binges of giddy climbing in cycles past, often with a saucy wink to new highs. Sarcasm aside, could this be another con artist’s delight, or true magic? 😉

On October 10, 2025, Litecoin (LTC) went on a 23% joyride from $134 to $85. Oops! But hey, that’s what happens when a crypto market-wide liquidation shakes up almost $19 billion in open positions, right? The sell-off was triggered by US-China tariff drama – because that’s exactly what every crypto investor needs right now – another international conflict to spice things up. The nerves were real, but here’s where it gets interesting: some analysts think this crash might be setting the stage for a parabolic rally, just like the good ol’ days of 2017, when a similar drop was followed by a sprint to over $375.

“Mais que diable, le ton de Pékin s’adoucit, mes amis ! La Ministry of Commerce chinoise, dans un chuchotement de bureaucrate, a déclaré que ses contrôles sur les exportations de terres rares ne seraient pas une voie sans return – un arrêt brutal comme on le craignait. La licence ? Toujours disponible, pour peu que vous soyez éligible, et la politique ? Enfin, disons que le sésame n’est pas fermé à clé, mais juste entrouvert, histoire de laisser croire que tout va bien dans la jungle minérale. La porte, vous voyez, n’est pas verrouillée, mais elle s’est juste un peu rétrécie. 🤏🌐”

One delectable morsel in this cornucopia of commercial curios is the Clarity Act, that legislative siren promising to unravel the Gordian knot of how American officials regard these digital denizens. Our Sensei, with a sardonic smirk worthy of a literary salon, declares it could herald a seismic shift, once the corridors of Congress and the Senate awaken from their bureaucratic slumber. Yet, ah, the irony thickens like crème Fraîche: such enlightenment dawns not with snapping fingers, but through labyrinthine processes that rival the slow seduction of a puzzle box. 😏

Since October 7, Pi has been staging a delightful recovery, sashaying close to $0.20-could buyer confidence be sneaking back like an unwanted ex at a party? A peek at the chart and some on-chain silliness whispers that Pi might be lining up for a comeback, if those pesky sellers would just pop a cork and cool their jets.

Don’t be fooled by the “hype” – there’s something deeper at play here. Both the big fish and the everyday traders are diving in headfirst, buying up dips like they’re on a shopping spree. And judging by the price chart, this rollercoaster might still have a few more loops left. But, of course, the higher you climb, the more dangerous the fall, right? 🤔

Enter BMNR, the crypto equivalent of the bold, eccentric character who pushes through all the doubters, cutting through FUD like a hot knife through butter. They’ve triggered FOMO, and let’s just say, if you’re not paying attention now, well, you might miss out on the coming madness. 🔥🚀

On the hallowed grounds of X, behold the eminent Sensei of Crypto, who, with effusive vigor, declared Umbra and Arcium to be the “legends of this new age”-a rodomontade that would make Mr. Darcy himself blush with modesty. These innovators, it seems, have done what Jane Austen herself could not: marry commerce with confidentiality in a union of native blockchain code. 🤶

Social gatherings between traditional financiers and what I can only describe as the children of crypto-known as blockchain firms like Ripple-got so wild, even Bonds would have wanted an invite. Here, I introduce Cassie Craddock, Ripple’s very own Euro belly dancer (also known as the Managing Director for the U.K. and Europe). On October 10, she tweeted, of all things, because I guess blogs are old school now. She talked about how the European Union’s Markets in Crypto-Assets Regulation (MiCA) was like the secret sauce making banks want to dance with the devil, I mean, blockchain.