Bloomberg whispers-as if through a fan in a stuffy parlor-that Bitkub plans to raise a modest $200 million in a Hong Kong IPO. 📰💸 Founded in 2018, this young upstart trades $66 million daily, a sum that would make even a Chekhovian landlord blush. 📈😏
A Tale of Two Empires
The real show started when Cardano’s beloved founder, Charles Hoskinson, clashed with Solana’s Anatoly Yakovenko over whether the incident warranted federal attention. How very dramatic, like two old schoolmates fighting over the last piece of cake.
Last week, dear Peter Schiff – the economist with the charm of a rainy day – decided to wag his finger at Saylor & Co., questioning whether their digital dreams could withstand the storm. Schiff, blunt as ever, declared that the entire scheme of issuing preferred stocks to buy Bitcoin might just be a spectacular house of cards. Apparently, the business model hinges on income funds happily swallowing preferred shares while MicroStrategy stacks their digital chips – sounds romantic, no? 💸
Wormhole Labs, that most enigmatic of startups, now stews Sunrise, a Solana-native gateway where tokens arrive like rogue monarchs, demanding liquidity before the kettles cool. MON, the first token to stride into this chaos, will trade today… or so the mythos goes.
Robert Ruszała, known rather pretentiously as ‘El Profesor’ (one shudders to think what his academic credentials might be), has conceded that his ‘plan’ – and the use of quotation marks feels distinctly pointed – proved rather less prophetic than anticipated. He has, it seems, felt the need to issue a detailed post-mortem, detailing precisely where his deductions went awry. One almost feels sympathy…almost.
On the 23rd of November, the blockchain platform Lookonchain made a startling revelation: a wallet tied to BitMine received a hefty 21,537 ETH. The sum? A cool $60 million, courtesy of institutional prime broker FalconX.
The LINK token has plummeted to $12, its lowest since June, and is now 55% down from its yearly high. It’s like it forgot to pack its parachute. 🪂💸
As the world braces for yet another round of economic lunacy-this time courtesy of trade tariffs-central bankers in Europe and Asia clutch their pearls and whisper: “What if stablecoins collapse?” Oh, the horror! The drama! The sheer audacity of digital money daring to disrupt their carefully orchestrated chaos.
Ah, yes, the wave-four bounce. The kind that analysts live for-except, of course, when they get it wrong. The current Elliott Wave structure, dutifully shared by an analyst (whom we all trust implicitly, right?), suggests that Bitcoin is merely riding the tail of a much grander upward wave. They warned us of a five-wave ascent, followed by a glorious correction, and look! Lo and behold, it seems we are on that exact course. As expected, BTC recently launched a small five-wave push to the heavens, only to pull back into support-how utterly predictable. The real question is whether this is the beginning of the end or merely another cruel joke. 📉
