Amid the cryptic black hole of market despair, Strategy took a moment from its cosmic quest and floated on X (because why not have social media platforms as a space station?), reminding us all of its 2022 playbook. You know, when Bitcoin was trying to find its lost sock in the laundry of financial despair:
Ah, Peter Schiff, that ever-charming prophet of doom, has once again graced us with his financial foresight. According to this delightful gentleman, if Bitcoin were ever to plummet by a staggering 90%, brace yourselves, because MicroStrategy (MSTR) shareholders would be in for an even more brutal ride. Picture this: while the rest of us gasp … Read more
peak couldn’t even reach -50% vs peak in 2021.
Park, with a twinkle in his eye, claims the most potent Bitcoin catalyst isn’t techy upgrades or institutional fluff but a government saying, “Darling, I’d like to own a little.” A sovereign snap-through move, akin to a sprinkle of fairy dust on a rainy day. Theft by affection.
Ripple (XRP) token dropped to a low of $1.8430, down by 47% from its highest level this year. Its market capitalization now resembles a deflated balloon: $115 billion from a once-proud $200 billion. 💨
Breaking news, from high atop the Mount Glassnode, analysts muse over the latest fad in Realized Loss for XRP. This indicator, like a nosy neighbor, keeps track of the total amount of dollar dough investors have squandered through the sheer velocity of their transactions. 🏃♂️💸
The English authorities, those diligent keepers of order – or at least, those who occasionally glance in the direction of order – have lately stumbled upon a most curious affair. A veritable labyrinth of cash and digital phantoms, all swirling about attempts to circumvent the quite reasonable displeasure expressed towards Russia by the civilized world. A poor attempt, if you ask me.
Connecting your Paypay account is as simple as navigating the app’s Add Assets flow-though Lite balances and time-limited points are mysteriously absent. (Gasp! The audacity!) Of course, mandatory identity checks, funding caps, and enough risk warnings to make a lawyer blush accompany this rollout. Crypto assets, after all, are as volatile as a caffeinated squirrel 🐿️ and prone to operational hiccups. Who could have guessed?
The crown jewel of this week’s spree? Bullish, of course! 🦬 With a swagger that would make a tsar blush, ARK Innovation ETF (ARKK), ARK Fintech Innovation ETF (ARKF), and ARK Next Generation Internet ETF (ARKW) threw a cool $2 million at it. Why? Because Bullish gained 5.75% in a day, and who doesn’t love a good gamble? 🎲 Meanwhile, BitMine got a modest $830,000 pat on the back, though it closed slightly lower-but hey, it’s still floating around $26, so no tears here. 😢
